Dear All Friends,
Two months back I have joined a 15 years old Real Estate company as a Manager - HR . I am 30 years old. Presently I am reporting to 5-6 senior people. All are very abusive.They all are non professional. Regulary they are using Maa aur Behen like Gaalis. I am belonging to a very respective family and I cant tolerate such type of abusive language. Kindly suggest what should I do in this type of situation. Should I leave the job or should I continue? I am very much upset because my previous organisation were very big and professional. Kindly guide me as soon as possible.
ESSKAY
From India, New Delhi
1Two months back I have joined a 15 years old Real Estate company as a Manager - HR . I am 30 years old. Presently I am reporting to 5-6 senior people. All are very abusive.They all are non professional. Regulary they are using Maa aur Behen like Gaalis. I am belonging to a very respective family and I cant tolerate such type of abusive language. Kindly suggest what should I do in this type of situation. Should I leave the job or should I continue? I am very much upset because my previous organisation were very big and professional. Kindly guide me as soon as possible.
ESSKAY
From India, New Delhi
Dear Sunil Kumar,
If this is what they have been doing all along, then changing them would be quite difficult. Remember the proverb " The leopard cannot change its spots".
You can put of foul language from 1-2 persons but not from 5-6.
Ok...
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
If this is what they have been doing all along, then changing them would be quite difficult. Remember the proverb " The leopard cannot change its spots".
You can put of foul language from 1-2 persons but not from 5-6.
Ok...
Dinesh V Divekar
From India, Bangalore
hi i think u should continue dear; dnt left the job, you can change their language by ur attitude and politeness u just give them more and more respect. its necessary for HR MGR to work with non professionals also, if u work with highly professionals only how u'll learn the psycho of non professionals? learn, analysis, change and observe change, HOW U ACCOMDATE URSELF WITH NON PROFESSIONALS IS THE REAL EXAM OF UR SRUDY IS IT?? 
From India, Udaipur
From India, Udaipur
Please start looking for a new job. The people are educated abusive fouls. If you have not lived this culture in the past, it will be very difficult to adjust. If you still want to stick around, then make it a point to inform the people above you, that you prefer the professional approach.
All the best
From India, Mumbai
All the best
From India, Mumbai
No one should put up with abusive language. My sincere advice, look for a job and quit! -SG
From United States, Woodinville
From United States, Woodinville
Dear Sunil Kumar,
I suggest that you kindly remove your phone number and email ID and also do not use your real full name as even your bosses could be accessing this site and you could get into trouble.
There is an old English saying, "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but rude words do not hurt me". As Dinesh Divekar has aptly said, it's not easy for you to change their life-long habits. They may not be even aware that they are being abusive. May be, once you get their confidence, you could ask one of them what they mean by those words. For example, I had a colleague who would say f---ing this and f---ing that even for inert objects till the female secretary arrived and then switch over to bloody instead of f---ing. He would then swich back to the f word once she left the office.
Whether they will try to change or not will depends upon whether they want you more than you want their job.
I take this oportunity to wish all at CiteHR a Healthy, Happy, and Successful 2010.
Simhan
A retired academic in UK
From United Kingdom
I suggest that you kindly remove your phone number and email ID and also do not use your real full name as even your bosses could be accessing this site and you could get into trouble.
There is an old English saying, "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but rude words do not hurt me". As Dinesh Divekar has aptly said, it's not easy for you to change their life-long habits. They may not be even aware that they are being abusive. May be, once you get their confidence, you could ask one of them what they mean by those words. For example, I had a colleague who would say f---ing this and f---ing that even for inert objects till the female secretary arrived and then switch over to bloody instead of f---ing. He would then swich back to the f word once she left the office.
Whether they will try to change or not will depends upon whether they want you more than you want their job.
I take this oportunity to wish all at CiteHR a Healthy, Happy, and Successful 2010.
Simhan
A retired academic in UK
From United Kingdom
If you are badly in need of a job, then tolerate and get used to this
More you tolerate, they continue to use this and you get more used to this.
If you are confident of a job, then then only you try to change them. There also a risk is involved. When you have a job in hand and you try to change them, these people may not give you a proper relieving order. It all depends on you need for the job
Sivasankaran
From India, Chennai
More you tolerate, they continue to use this and you get more used to this.
If you are confident of a job, then then only you try to change them. There also a risk is involved. When you have a job in hand and you try to change them, these people may not give you a proper relieving order. It all depends on you need for the job
Sivasankaran
From India, Chennai
Dear Sunil!!! The situation is difficult and the easy way out is to look for a new job. But the job market being what it is, I would suggest the following:
1. First and foremost, never put up with such nonsense. They may be seniors, but once the level of interaction descends to the level beyond tolerance, put your feet down and tell him to mind the language. These words are often said without meaning what it means but is only quite a natural expression for such people. Even a frown on your face is sufficient to the other person. However never smile or adopt a take it easy attitude. During union discussions many a times somebody or the other tries use abusive language or wild allegations. The best way is to cut short at that point itself and put the exchanges on the decent level.
2. Gently tell such people that use of such abuses amount to sexually coloured remarks and can land them in trouble.
3. You can voice the need for using sane language in the general discussions held between colleagues.
4. Be on th look out for some such instance where due to such abuses the situation turned from bad to worse. Highlight the undesirableness of such language through such instances.
5. From your description, it appears there are no women employees around. We have seen that presence of a few women executives had really a moderating influence on the language used in the shop floor.
6. The last remedy, though I won't advocate it, but has been used by some of colleagues with great effect, is to shout back equally bad or more abusive terms. A gentler way could be warn such people that you know also very bad language and would use if such a thing is repeated.
Any how, for your organisation it will be a cultural change to use temperate language and such things take time and painstaking effort. Probably you are the best person to attempt it.
Regards
KK
1. First and foremost, never put up with such nonsense. They may be seniors, but once the level of interaction descends to the level beyond tolerance, put your feet down and tell him to mind the language. These words are often said without meaning what it means but is only quite a natural expression for such people. Even a frown on your face is sufficient to the other person. However never smile or adopt a take it easy attitude. During union discussions many a times somebody or the other tries use abusive language or wild allegations. The best way is to cut short at that point itself and put the exchanges on the decent level.
2. Gently tell such people that use of such abuses amount to sexually coloured remarks and can land them in trouble.
3. You can voice the need for using sane language in the general discussions held between colleagues.
4. Be on th look out for some such instance where due to such abuses the situation turned from bad to worse. Highlight the undesirableness of such language through such instances.
5. From your description, it appears there are no women employees around. We have seen that presence of a few women executives had really a moderating influence on the language used in the shop floor.
6. The last remedy, though I won't advocate it, but has been used by some of colleagues with great effect, is to shout back equally bad or more abusive terms. A gentler way could be warn such people that you know also very bad language and would use if such a thing is repeated.
Any how, for your organisation it will be a cultural change to use temperate language and such things take time and painstaking effort. Probably you are the best person to attempt it.
Regards
KK
Hi Sunil, This is no reason to quit a decent job..you might get such people everywhere..just ignore such things and be involved in your work..that will help! Good Luck!
From India, Jaipur
From India, Jaipur
Hi sunil,
If these seniors are the owners etc or employees. How come you report to 5 seniors. You have got in to a wrong company. Using bad language in general is quite a behavioural type and some people use it to show that they are smart and bold. However if they use in frindly manner tell them clearly that you don't like it. If it is work related than these people are just trying to mean you down. In such case as suggested earlier by one of our collegue you also use same aproach and start using best language you can use which they are not comfotable with. Use some puch lines to make them realise that they are not the world. If they say MC BC you say jokingly "I do not have time for your request". My dear next time they will think twice to use such bad words to anybody. Finally in case they are employers than you have to look out for change else try to change them. You are manager be proud of this and your abilities. Life is not so simple the way we think. Some people are really bad and always tries to put others down. Some people think they will not die hence they try to rule others. Any way senoirs ki asi ki taisi. Jeen hai to apne terms pe jio . If you decide to leave that organisation make sure that you make their life misrable till you are in that company and they should not forget you in their entire life. Jaana hai to saan se. Jeena hai to izzat se.
From India, Mumbai
If these seniors are the owners etc or employees. How come you report to 5 seniors. You have got in to a wrong company. Using bad language in general is quite a behavioural type and some people use it to show that they are smart and bold. However if they use in frindly manner tell them clearly that you don't like it. If it is work related than these people are just trying to mean you down. In such case as suggested earlier by one of our collegue you also use same aproach and start using best language you can use which they are not comfotable with. Use some puch lines to make them realise that they are not the world. If they say MC BC you say jokingly "I do not have time for your request". My dear next time they will think twice to use such bad words to anybody. Finally in case they are employers than you have to look out for change else try to change them. You are manager be proud of this and your abilities. Life is not so simple the way we think. Some people are really bad and always tries to put others down. Some people think they will not die hence they try to rule others. Any way senoirs ki asi ki taisi. Jeen hai to apne terms pe jio . If you decide to leave that organisation make sure that you make their life misrable till you are in that company and they should not forget you in their entire life. Jaana hai to saan se. Jeena hai to izzat se.
From India, Mumbai
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