One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a truck and she died instantly.
Her soul arrived up in Heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it
seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it to Heaven and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"That?'s not my problem. Just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from above. What we're going to do is
let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said
the woman.
"Sorry, we have to follow rules..."
And with that St. Peter put the woman in an elevator and it went
down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and hugged her and they talked about good old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a beautiful golf
course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all that is there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her, smiled and told, "Yesterday we were recruiting
you, today you're an Employee."
From India, Pune
3Her soul arrived up in Heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it
seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it to Heaven and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"That?'s not my problem. Just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from above. What we're going to do is
let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said
the woman.
"Sorry, we have to follow rules..."
And with that St. Peter put the woman in an elevator and it went
down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and hugged her and they talked about good old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a beautiful golf
course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all that is there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her, smiled and told, "Yesterday we were recruiting
you, today you're an Employee."
From India, Pune
Came across this interesting piece....interesting one....
Does your Company have a problem in recruiting the right person for the
right chair? If yes, try this simple experiment.
Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open
window. Then send 2-3 candidates into the room and close it from outside.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the
situation:
If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks - PUT THEM IN
ACCOUNTS DEPT.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks - PUT THEM IN
ENGINEERING
If they are arranging the bricks in some other order - PUT THEM IN PLANNING
If they are throwing the bricks at each other - PUT THEM IN OPERATIONS.
If they are sleeping - PUT THEM IN SECURITY.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces - PUT THEM IN INFORMATION
TECHNOLOGY.
If they are sitting idle - PUT THEM IN HUMAN RESOURCE DEPT.
If they have thrown the bricks out of the window - PUT THEM IN THE MATERIALS DEPT.
If they are clinging onto the bricks - PUT THEM IN TREASURY.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has
moved - PUT THEM IN SALES.
If they have already left for the day - PUT THEM IN MARKETING.
If they are staring out of the window - PUT THEM IN THE EXPORT
AND last but not least....
If they are talking to each other and not a brick has moved - PUT THEM IN
TOP MANAGEMENT
From India, Madras
Does your Company have a problem in recruiting the right person for the
right chair? If yes, try this simple experiment.
Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open
window. Then send 2-3 candidates into the room and close it from outside.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the
situation:
If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks - PUT THEM IN
ACCOUNTS DEPT.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks - PUT THEM IN
ENGINEERING
If they are arranging the bricks in some other order - PUT THEM IN PLANNING
If they are throwing the bricks at each other - PUT THEM IN OPERATIONS.
If they are sleeping - PUT THEM IN SECURITY.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces - PUT THEM IN INFORMATION
TECHNOLOGY.
If they are sitting idle - PUT THEM IN HUMAN RESOURCE DEPT.
If they have thrown the bricks out of the window - PUT THEM IN THE MATERIALS DEPT.
If they are clinging onto the bricks - PUT THEM IN TREASURY.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has
moved - PUT THEM IN SALES.
If they have already left for the day - PUT THEM IN MARKETING.
If they are staring out of the window - PUT THEM IN THE EXPORT
AND last but not least....
If they are talking to each other and not a brick has moved - PUT THEM IN
TOP MANAGEMENT
From India, Madras
Hi Hemant
That was a gud1. the message is partially true--2 get the best talent, potential candidates r shown a very lush green field n beautiful n picturesque scenario bt what one gets 2 c actually on joining is quite different. this is teh case even with the best of companies. its a big shock 4 employees when they envisage the vast difference between teh picture shown n teh actual thing---while recruitng we 4get that by doing this-we might b playing with teh expectaions, future n lives of individuals. m sure many of us have personally xperienced the torture of comapny's false promises....this shud make us sensitive so as 2 ensure we do nt becum a party 2 such fake promises....wat say?
Regards
Swati
From India, Chennai
That was a gud1. the message is partially true--2 get the best talent, potential candidates r shown a very lush green field n beautiful n picturesque scenario bt what one gets 2 c actually on joining is quite different. this is teh case even with the best of companies. its a big shock 4 employees when they envisage the vast difference between teh picture shown n teh actual thing---while recruitng we 4get that by doing this-we might b playing with teh expectaions, future n lives of individuals. m sure many of us have personally xperienced the torture of comapny's false promises....this shud make us sensitive so as 2 ensure we do nt becum a party 2 such fake promises....wat say?
Regards
Swati
From India, Chennai
hi ..
I guess the latest trend is to have special TRAINING Centres where the Induction as well as the initial 2 to 4 months training is given.
These Training Centres are nothing less than a 5 Star Resorts with all kinds of facilities. Gym , Swimming Pool, Tennis / Badminton Courts , Plush Lawns , Huge campus .... everything lavish ....
Once you get in to the grind of work and report tho the actual office for work .... you end up in open cubicles ... with absolutely no time to enjoy the 'lavish facilities' (if they still exist) . . .
well ... dunno who is to blame .. bu thats the way things are ...
Even if facilities are provided ... the workload is such that hardly anyone gets time to enZoy the same . . .
The facilities planned and implemented will be actually effective only when their usage level is high and the number of employees taking benifit out of it is on a high . . .
From Switzerland, Geneva
I guess the latest trend is to have special TRAINING Centres where the Induction as well as the initial 2 to 4 months training is given.
These Training Centres are nothing less than a 5 Star Resorts with all kinds of facilities. Gym , Swimming Pool, Tennis / Badminton Courts , Plush Lawns , Huge campus .... everything lavish ....
Once you get in to the grind of work and report tho the actual office for work .... you end up in open cubicles ... with absolutely no time to enjoy the 'lavish facilities' (if they still exist) . . .
well ... dunno who is to blame .. bu thats the way things are ...
Even if facilities are provided ... the workload is such that hardly anyone gets time to enZoy the same . . .
The facilities planned and implemented will be actually effective only when their usage level is high and the number of employees taking benifit out of it is on a high . . .
From Switzerland, Geneva
Hi Swati,
Yes i totally agree with you. It is us the HR people who show greener fileds to our new recruits, and when they actually join their respective depts. scene is different.
However i think that if we show a rosy picture then we should work really hard to actually make the rosy things....
HR can make a big difference in the life of all employees..............
what do u say ????
From India, Pune
Yes i totally agree with you. It is us the HR people who show greener fileds to our new recruits, and when they actually join their respective depts. scene is different.
However i think that if we show a rosy picture then we should work really hard to actually make the rosy things....
HR can make a big difference in the life of all employees..............
what do u say ????
From India, Pune
Hi Hemant & Swati!
Agree with your views....but I guess that's how most HR dept. portray their offerings as....there could be exceptions to the rule, but....
I've been a victim of this game too....
I feel I'm stuck in a profile where I don't fit in....and this was recommended by HR to me! I thought HR was about putting the right people at the right time in the right place....
They've surely put the wrong person in the wrong time in the wrong place in my case at least!
But let me ask yu guys something....is the grass always greener on the other side? or are our reactions right?
Ciao!
Lalita
From India, Madras
Agree with your views....but I guess that's how most HR dept. portray their offerings as....there could be exceptions to the rule, but....
I've been a victim of this game too....
I feel I'm stuck in a profile where I don't fit in....and this was recommended by HR to me! I thought HR was about putting the right people at the right time in the right place....
They've surely put the wrong person in the wrong time in the wrong place in my case at least!
But let me ask yu guys something....is the grass always greener on the other side? or are our reactions right?
Ciao!
Lalita
From India, Madras
Hi,
I quite disagree with both the Humors in this post. First of all the HR dept has to be split into 2 categories. One is the resourcing dept and the other is the General or core HR dept. I do agree that the resourcing team at times show the greener side, but it is also true that every person has to work some place or the other. All the places would have some or the other negetive factors. For that matter even a housewife would have lots of non-positive factors.
It is just the way we take it. We we put on a green spectacles every thing looks green.
It so happens that when the resourcing team shows a greener side it is the core HR that is also affected. The attrition rate, employee satisfaction, are the KRAs for any Genralist HR. They have to do their best to retain an unsatisfied employee. So my opinion is that it would not be right to make a general statement about the HR dept.
And also it is my personal experience that the mgt comes to you and tells you that since you are the HR [unproductive dept ( as the humour puts it)] you are not eligible for incentives and benefits. But they fail to understand that managing the people is also a big challenge and I belive that bringing a new business is easy, but to retain the existing is difficult. So the 'Core HR' dept also has to be treated at par with any other revenue generating dept.
Every where I have been distinguishing the HR dept into resourcing and core HR because Iam a HR-Generalist and I have faced the brunt. Even the resourcing team is considered at par with the marketing team but every where the Core HR is affected in terms of their objectives and also when it comes to the incentives.
Let me know if I have to change my views.
From India, Bangalore
I quite disagree with both the Humors in this post. First of all the HR dept has to be split into 2 categories. One is the resourcing dept and the other is the General or core HR dept. I do agree that the resourcing team at times show the greener side, but it is also true that every person has to work some place or the other. All the places would have some or the other negetive factors. For that matter even a housewife would have lots of non-positive factors.
It is just the way we take it. We we put on a green spectacles every thing looks green.
It so happens that when the resourcing team shows a greener side it is the core HR that is also affected. The attrition rate, employee satisfaction, are the KRAs for any Genralist HR. They have to do their best to retain an unsatisfied employee. So my opinion is that it would not be right to make a general statement about the HR dept.
And also it is my personal experience that the mgt comes to you and tells you that since you are the HR [unproductive dept ( as the humour puts it)] you are not eligible for incentives and benefits. But they fail to understand that managing the people is also a big challenge and I belive that bringing a new business is easy, but to retain the existing is difficult. So the 'Core HR' dept also has to be treated at par with any other revenue generating dept.
Every where I have been distinguishing the HR dept into resourcing and core HR because Iam a HR-Generalist and I have faced the brunt. Even the resourcing team is considered at par with the marketing team but every where the Core HR is affected in terms of their objectives and also when it comes to the incentives.
Let me know if I have to change my views.
From India, Bangalore
Hi soms23!
You seem to have taken it very personally!!!
The humor was supposed to be taken in light spirits....all dept. in an organization are mocked at in some way or the other....so take it easy. You needn't get so defensive....
I agree with your classification of HR into sourcing and 'core/managerial' HR. In our company too we follow something similar.
If you re-read my post, you'll notice that I'd concluded on the note of the grass possibly always being greener on the other side. That should pacify your grievance. :wink:
You know what? The HR dept. in our office is called Hopeless Resouces and/or Harmful Resources!!! :wink: Just kidding!
HR is surely at par with any other dept. of an organization. If it weren't for HR, you and I wouldn't be where we are today!
Agree with you soms23, on what you've written about the incentives part. In most cases, people of all depts. have deliverables which help them in earning their variable pay. And generally HR gets left out in this. That's not fair! There should be some quality and/or quantity targets for HR people too for earning more money and motivation.
After all the HR team, which has to motivate others, needs some motivation for itself too!
What do you say people?
Ciao!
Lalita
From India, Madras
You seem to have taken it very personally!!!
The humor was supposed to be taken in light spirits....all dept. in an organization are mocked at in some way or the other....so take it easy. You needn't get so defensive....
I agree with your classification of HR into sourcing and 'core/managerial' HR. In our company too we follow something similar.
If you re-read my post, you'll notice that I'd concluded on the note of the grass possibly always being greener on the other side. That should pacify your grievance. :wink:
You know what? The HR dept. in our office is called Hopeless Resouces and/or Harmful Resources!!! :wink: Just kidding!
HR is surely at par with any other dept. of an organization. If it weren't for HR, you and I wouldn't be where we are today!
Agree with you soms23, on what you've written about the incentives part. In most cases, people of all depts. have deliverables which help them in earning their variable pay. And generally HR gets left out in this. That's not fair! There should be some quality and/or quantity targets for HR people too for earning more money and motivation.
After all the HR team, which has to motivate others, needs some motivation for itself too!
What do you say people?
Ciao!
Lalita
From India, Madras
Hi Lalita and Som3,
I agree with all of you. HR does have some kinds of categories.
The main motive of the humour was just HUMOUR !!!! nothing else.....
but if u really think then don't you feel , this kind of greener pastures happens in our everyday life also. How often have you felt that your friend has a better job, better car, or maybe better spouse !!!
this kind of comparisons do occur and if u remember there is a motivation theory based on this very fact...........
I strongly agee with your views that YES HR SHOULD have incentives. Our work also has KRA's, and based on that an incentive plan can be chalked out.
Our work is to motivate the people and get the work done in an efficient and effective way.
Hey and why don't we all get together and build some framework for giving incentives to HR people. what do u ppl say ?
From India, Pune
I agree with all of you. HR does have some kinds of categories.
The main motive of the humour was just HUMOUR !!!! nothing else.....
but if u really think then don't you feel , this kind of greener pastures happens in our everyday life also. How often have you felt that your friend has a better job, better car, or maybe better spouse !!!
this kind of comparisons do occur and if u remember there is a motivation theory based on this very fact...........
I strongly agee with your views that YES HR SHOULD have incentives. Our work also has KRA's, and based on that an incentive plan can be chalked out.
Our work is to motivate the people and get the work done in an efficient and effective way.
Hey and why don't we all get together and build some framework for giving incentives to HR people. what do u ppl say ?
From India, Pune
Hi Hemant!
I second your opinion.
Our 'jokes' were meant for humor and were hence not meant to be taken seriously.
HR also should have incentives, but....what can be the deliverables?
As soms23 said, HR can be broadly classified into sourcing and 'core/managing' HR....lets take the example of sourcing....
The deliverables for sourcing can be the number of people recruited in time. But the HR guys might try to rush up the process for achieving their targets and in the process the quality of people taken in could be compromised on. And if you take the quality of people recruited as the parameter, it will not be detectable for at least a quarter, so the HR guys will not be able to earn incentives for 3-4 months in a row at least.
What could be the solution to this? I invite suggestions from all our forum members to this....
"What can be the parameters for HR people for earning incentives/variable pay?"
Do let me know what you think of this....
Cheers!
Lalita
From India, Madras
I second your opinion.
Our 'jokes' were meant for humor and were hence not meant to be taken seriously.
HR also should have incentives, but....what can be the deliverables?
As soms23 said, HR can be broadly classified into sourcing and 'core/managing' HR....lets take the example of sourcing....
The deliverables for sourcing can be the number of people recruited in time. But the HR guys might try to rush up the process for achieving their targets and in the process the quality of people taken in could be compromised on. And if you take the quality of people recruited as the parameter, it will not be detectable for at least a quarter, so the HR guys will not be able to earn incentives for 3-4 months in a row at least.
What could be the solution to this? I invite suggestions from all our forum members to this....
"What can be the parameters for HR people for earning incentives/variable pay?"
Do let me know what you think of this....
Cheers!
Lalita
From India, Madras
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