Hey Pradipa Thanks for this article its actually helpful. This has actually become a social/corporate culture problem.. Solution as always is your conscience and commitments. Regards Bhumika
From India, Pune
From India, Pune
thn u shud divorce tht Lalita powar type female and then look out..rather the cheating stuff...
From India, Pune
From India, Pune
Dear Pradepa
Thanks for this wonderful article. You have actually penned down the things every one of sees or come across every day.
Many a times we are not sure how to handle this…or how to deal with it.. but I’m sure your article will definitely be a great help for girls n guys in handling such matters…
Great Job…Hats off to you.. …
Cheers,
Gayatri
From India, Bangalore
Thanks for this wonderful article. You have actually penned down the things every one of sees or come across every day.
Many a times we are not sure how to handle this…or how to deal with it.. but I’m sure your article will definitely be a great help for girls n guys in handling such matters…
Great Job…Hats off to you.. …
Cheers,
Gayatri
From India, Bangalore
Thank you a lot, Pradepa. It's really heart-touching. It's exactly what's happening in my office too. I don't know what to do or how to tell them exactly. After reading your article, I sent it to all my colleagues. At least they can understand what is right.
Regards,
Anitha Ganneboina
From India, Hyderabad
Regards,
Anitha Ganneboina
From India, Hyderabad
I have been reading all the views expressed here with interest. Almost every post, except a couple of meek ones, seem to suggest that romance (and more) at work place is a bad thing, both for the individuals concerned and the organization alike. Though I suspect one of the main reasons for this is what I would call the typical Indian outlook, I would rather not offer my own views on the subject here. Instead, I am reproducing a published article on the subject here (not mine):
NEW ADDITIONAL WORKING SPOUSE (IN ADDITION TO THE ONE AT HOME)
Working on a tight schedule in an office, 6 days a week, 12 hours a day, and which is the major part a person is awake, has resulted into new relationships being forged at the work place. People as a tendency try to find comfort level in whatever they do or who ever they meet, and same is the position in the office work place and more so which results into a ‘special’ attraction or bond between a male and female colleague. Say for instance Ms. Pooja Nair a 21 year old analyst and her senior Manish Paul, 28 year old, share a beautiful relationship. They spend a major part of the day at their work place, travel together to the nearest distance of their homes, together share their lunch and even go for shopping together, taking into consideration each others likes and dislikes. Though they claim their relations are strictly platonic, they confide in each other, what normally a man would not confide in a woman, try to understand each other, try to be a comfort in each other, as well as support each other, not only in working lines but even otherwise.
This has also resulted into several marriages breaking up for reasons such as, less time spent at home, disliked by their house wives or by their husbands who are at home considering their counter parts’ close relationship in the office. This has resulted into several cases of divorce at the home front and a new bond of marriage as a result of “Office spouse”.
On the office front it has resulted into improvement in productivity, more time and effort being spent by “spouse couples” in the office, resulting into greater productivity. It also ensures greater alertness in the office front due to the presence of the counter part. As organizations have realized, “project spouse” is the key to beating deadlines. For eg: Mansi Shenoy, a 25 year old commercial artist who works for an ad agency. She has been “married” to her office spouse, Rohan Shetty, also 25, for a year now. Mansi feels their hectic work life led them to look out for a parallel support system in each other: “We end up discussing everything that happens in our lives. We have an amazing rapport, and this helps us complete our work ahead of our deadlines”.
Rohan, acknowledges a jump in his performance. “Working with Mansi helps me tremendously, as I can give my best without being worried about future. I know If I go wrong, she will make up for it. Also I am eager to get to work everyday and don’t mind putting in longer houses.
Such like espousing is beneficial to both the organization as well as the employees as long as the personal and professional lines aren’t crossed.
Earlier office romance was looked upon as a “taboo”, but now with the change of time and more openness in the approach, has resulted into greater “office spouses”.
However, interestingly, most real life spouses are now open to such office relationships. For instance, Shreya enjoys a great rapport with Hemants’ wife. Rohit’s girlfriend too knows about his relationship with Soumya. In fact it is Soumya who takes her calls when Rohit is driving.
In the world of spouses, there are just two commandments. “If you desire happiness, discover it at home. If you seek motivation find it in your work place”. As long as you don’t breach other, you are fine. Indeed, you are ready for promotion.
Regards,
Raj
From India, Mumbai
NEW ADDITIONAL WORKING SPOUSE (IN ADDITION TO THE ONE AT HOME)
Working on a tight schedule in an office, 6 days a week, 12 hours a day, and which is the major part a person is awake, has resulted into new relationships being forged at the work place. People as a tendency try to find comfort level in whatever they do or who ever they meet, and same is the position in the office work place and more so which results into a ‘special’ attraction or bond between a male and female colleague. Say for instance Ms. Pooja Nair a 21 year old analyst and her senior Manish Paul, 28 year old, share a beautiful relationship. They spend a major part of the day at their work place, travel together to the nearest distance of their homes, together share their lunch and even go for shopping together, taking into consideration each others likes and dislikes. Though they claim their relations are strictly platonic, they confide in each other, what normally a man would not confide in a woman, try to understand each other, try to be a comfort in each other, as well as support each other, not only in working lines but even otherwise.
This has also resulted into several marriages breaking up for reasons such as, less time spent at home, disliked by their house wives or by their husbands who are at home considering their counter parts’ close relationship in the office. This has resulted into several cases of divorce at the home front and a new bond of marriage as a result of “Office spouse”.
On the office front it has resulted into improvement in productivity, more time and effort being spent by “spouse couples” in the office, resulting into greater productivity. It also ensures greater alertness in the office front due to the presence of the counter part. As organizations have realized, “project spouse” is the key to beating deadlines. For eg: Mansi Shenoy, a 25 year old commercial artist who works for an ad agency. She has been “married” to her office spouse, Rohan Shetty, also 25, for a year now. Mansi feels their hectic work life led them to look out for a parallel support system in each other: “We end up discussing everything that happens in our lives. We have an amazing rapport, and this helps us complete our work ahead of our deadlines”.
Rohan, acknowledges a jump in his performance. “Working with Mansi helps me tremendously, as I can give my best without being worried about future. I know If I go wrong, she will make up for it. Also I am eager to get to work everyday and don’t mind putting in longer houses.
Such like espousing is beneficial to both the organization as well as the employees as long as the personal and professional lines aren’t crossed.
Earlier office romance was looked upon as a “taboo”, but now with the change of time and more openness in the approach, has resulted into greater “office spouses”.
However, interestingly, most real life spouses are now open to such office relationships. For instance, Shreya enjoys a great rapport with Hemants’ wife. Rohit’s girlfriend too knows about his relationship with Soumya. In fact it is Soumya who takes her calls when Rohit is driving.
In the world of spouses, there are just two commandments. “If you desire happiness, discover it at home. If you seek motivation find it in your work place”. As long as you don’t breach other, you are fine. Indeed, you are ready for promotion.
Regards,
Raj
From India, Mumbai
Hi Pradeepa, The detail discussion is really good.I hope all the people who brouse this cite will check and spread the same and avoid misunderstandings. BST
From India
From India
Good article, Pradeepa. I appreciate you for taking the time to share such an informative article. It's really good. I will definitely share this information with all of my colleagues and friends. Thank you, dear.
Good one..
I have a few queries and add-ons!
- What about the other side of the coin? What if a female employee starts doing the same? I have seen that for some reason or another (quite visible and not so diplomatic).
- Let's see if we have an anti-dating policy at the workplace... but hey, face reality... everyone has a personal life. How many employees actually read HR emails, especially those that intrude into their personal lives? It's quite unfortunate when they read such emails and promptly hit "SHIFT + DEL". Moreover, in a multinational corporation where there is a cross-cultural environment, employees working at parallel levels are aware of what's happening elsewhere.
- For married gentlemen and women, it is expected that they are committed to their life and life partners. This, again, falls under personal life. As an HR professional, I can convey the message, but I cannot force them to be faithful. Betrayal is a matter of individual intentions and thoughts.
- You know what employees stick to or mention in exit interviews? If an employee is always isolated in a group or treated very formally... [ANSWER]: I have all the tools to do my job, good perks too, but I lack any friends or a friendly environment here. I wish I had it.
One example: a company hired a candidate who brought along 10 other team members, resulting in a significant increase in productivity. Such situations can have positive or negative outcomes.
Though I have experienced the above... I brought in a group of five excellent colleagues, and they eventually left. It is not advisable to discourage employees from being friends with their peers; after all, peers are synonymous with friends. The key is to foster healthy competition with minimal politics and games.
Moreover, I recall Mr. Murthy's words: who in the world wants to feel and stay alone. Right?
Common... HR stands for Human Resources... it's self-explanatory... we deal with humans who have various mindsets—some play, some don't, some listen, some don't... it has no limits... let's handle it!
All the best.
Regards,
Pritam
From United States, Fort Worth
I have a few queries and add-ons!
- What about the other side of the coin? What if a female employee starts doing the same? I have seen that for some reason or another (quite visible and not so diplomatic).
- Let's see if we have an anti-dating policy at the workplace... but hey, face reality... everyone has a personal life. How many employees actually read HR emails, especially those that intrude into their personal lives? It's quite unfortunate when they read such emails and promptly hit "SHIFT + DEL". Moreover, in a multinational corporation where there is a cross-cultural environment, employees working at parallel levels are aware of what's happening elsewhere.
- For married gentlemen and women, it is expected that they are committed to their life and life partners. This, again, falls under personal life. As an HR professional, I can convey the message, but I cannot force them to be faithful. Betrayal is a matter of individual intentions and thoughts.
- You know what employees stick to or mention in exit interviews? If an employee is always isolated in a group or treated very formally... [ANSWER]: I have all the tools to do my job, good perks too, but I lack any friends or a friendly environment here. I wish I had it.
One example: a company hired a candidate who brought along 10 other team members, resulting in a significant increase in productivity. Such situations can have positive or negative outcomes.
Though I have experienced the above... I brought in a group of five excellent colleagues, and they eventually left. It is not advisable to discourage employees from being friends with their peers; after all, peers are synonymous with friends. The key is to foster healthy competition with minimal politics and games.
Moreover, I recall Mr. Murthy's words: who in the world wants to feel and stay alone. Right?
Common... HR stands for Human Resources... it's self-explanatory... we deal with humans who have various mindsets—some play, some don't, some listen, some don't... it has no limits... let's handle it!
All the best.
Regards,
Pritam
From United States, Fort Worth
Madam,
Superb and wise article. The article widens the perspectives, allowing individuals to become aware and improve their willful and natural (unknowing) behaviors in offices. I consider the article as a social watchdog!
Thanks for the great sharing!
Vijaykumar Vyas
From India, Hyderabad
Superb and wise article. The article widens the perspectives, allowing individuals to become aware and improve their willful and natural (unknowing) behaviors in offices. I consider the article as a social watchdog!
Thanks for the great sharing!
Vijaykumar Vyas
From India, Hyderabad
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