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ilke_vijay
12

Dear Mr. Sundaram,
Nicely explained and thanks for the same. It is possible that my mind is not in position to understand or differentiate the terms so the conversation took the wrong direction.
Before she refused to go for any personality development programs but at least now she agreed and working on it. I can see changes in her & 100 % sure that she will be back on the track.
Best regards,
VIJAY

From United Arab Emirates, Ras Al Khaimah
saswatabanerjee
2394

I also post on the assumption that the thread will build a knowledge base for,the future, where someone with a similar problem will get the answer directly. So for me, the original poster responding or not does not matter as such. But I get irritated seeing the takers posting a query that is covered so many times. Just see how many times the query "what should be the correct salary structure" has come !!
And vijay, this is not about you.

From India, Mumbai
tajsateesh
1637

Hello Nathrao,

I missed out reading this line you mentioned earlier 'I frankly admit learning more by being in the position of "giver" and also from other learned members".

This doesn't just apply to you alone......it's very natural that Givers ALWAYS learn/gain MORE than takers for the simple reason that any Giver normally tries to evaluate & analyse what others have suggested & how are his/her ideas/gyan different from others. So, in the process, it's but natural that he/she gains/learns a lot more than he/she is giving.

While any Taker's tendency is to look JUST for the solution to his/her problem in what's being offered by others......usually IGNORING all other points/ideas [that he/she THINKS is irrelevant to his/her current issue/problem]--in short their focus is very narrow & short-term. While there's nothing wrong per se in this, such people loose out on the larger picture of any issue/situation.

And quite often, this comes-out very clearly from his/her postings that lack in clarity, etc.

This is differentiated from those who are currently Takers but have the potential to become Givers along the way.......

The best current example I can think of is Vijay....who has realized that the initial inputs he provided were leading to many presumptions that were either untrue or only partially true & has cared to give more detailed inputs. I am sure he has learned much more NOW than when he initiated this thread......when the objective would have been to just get a solution to his daughter's problem.

Rgds,

TS

From India, Hyderabad
nathrao
3131

""This doesn't just apply to you alone......it's very natural that Givers ALWAYS learn/gain MORE than takers for the simple reason that any Giver normally tries to evaluate & analyse what others have suggested & how are his/her ideas/gyan different from others. So, in the process, it's but natural that he/she gains/learns a lot more than he/she is giving""
I do agree with what you say.
But did I give the impression that I only learn more by being a "giver"

From India, Pune
tajsateesh
1637

No Nathrao — you DIDN’T. Sometimes, English language is such a poor communicator that meanings change :-) Our Indian languages are far better to convey the nuances. Rgds, TS
From India, Hyderabad
binubabu
102

Dear Vijay,

Your daughter tried to get into IIM but unfortunately she couldn't make it in the first attempt. As you know it is really difficult to get into IIMs since the Quality and Reputation of IIM Education matter utmost among corporate world. Many candidates succeed after more than one attempt in CAT. The entrance exams consist of written test, Group discussion, Personal Interviews etc. Before attending the CAT a candidate should understand the extreme competition involved in this Examination.

Now, your daughter is a CA by profession. Becoming a CA is also really difficult since it deals with lot of subjects in detail. Becoming a CA in the first attempt is really prestigious. If a candidate can be so, obviously it means, he or she is highly intellectual. So there is no point in worrying about. Only problem is lack of soft skills.

If she is really interested to have a corporate career in finance domain, she needs more knowledge in the concerned subject than soft skills. Luckily your daughter has it and she has proved it before everyone. Now it can be nurtured with the help of Soft skill trainers who are available in almost all metros in India. The knowledge one possesses, which needs to be presented and implemented in corporate world when it is required, depends upon the confidence level of the professional, who is taking up the concerned role. That means no matter how much knowledgeable we are, it become absolutely useless if we are not competent enough to use it as and when required owing to lack of confidence.

Your daughter attended some interviews but unable to make it and now not even ready to attend anymore interviews show, she may be having lack of soft skill training and confidence that made her desperate in making career in corporate world.

She can have many options.

She can become perfectly employable by both in terms of knowledge and soft skills competency. A set of confidence building measures are part of the programme may be available with Soft Skills Training / counselling institutes nearby your home.

Or she can be an independent Financial Consultant by practicing under a senior CA for some time and start a consultancy of her own which does not require that much degree of soft skills needed for a corporate career.
However, in my opinion, it is better to have some soft sill training for your daughter. It will obviously help her to deal with bold mind in complicated situations in future whether as a consultant or as a corporate professional.
Discuss the matter with your daughter in detail. Let her decide her course of action.

Thank you

From India, Thiruvananthapuram
ilke_vijay
12

Dear Mr. Binubabu,
Thanks a lot for your reply and valuable suggestions. I was really touched with the response I received from all the members and has to accept that I would have been ask your help long before.
Things has changed a lot now. She is looking forward for many things now and both i.e. me and my wife can see a lots of changes in her. As mentioned earlier, she has started looking for the soft skill & personality development programs. Regarding your suggestion about working for sometime with a CA firm and then starting our own practice was my first suggestion to her which she refused. I tried to explain her with various angles but she was not able to accept. Still I am optimistic that she will understand the benefits of having our own firm but on the other hand don't want to force my terms on her.
With this message I would like to thanks all the members who took out their precious time to post their suggestions.
Best regards,
VIJAY

From United Arab Emirates, Ras Al Khaimah
SAIBHAKTA
104

Dear Mr Vijay, I have retired from a CPSU and presently living in Pune.Your daughter can contact me if she wants on my phone 09433722046.
From India, New Delhi
NVN Lakshmi
Dear Mr Vijay,
Let me congratulate on her topping.
1. She should once understand when she could easily clear the difficult papers , interviews are nothing for her.
2. Failure is the great success to gain the experience
3. Getting a job in a single attemp is nothing great achievement but with learned experience it is really great feeling & confidence we will have.
4. She should practice to face her in the mirror & speak confidentally & have some mock interviews at home
5. One positive thought will change the entire scenario.
6. Try & Try untill we get success rather giving up in between.
7. She is in confusion stage of doing CA , MBA & CFA . what is her final goal to achieve? She should also try to understand her confusion
Regards
NVN

From India , Hyderabad
ilke_vijay
12

Dear NVN Lakshmi,
Thanks for your reply. As mentioned in my earlier post, she will be joining the personality development- soft skill program very shortly. As per my observation she is not used to any defeat so a series of failures might have depressed her. After first failure she must be thinking of her previous interview and that must have created problem for her.
She is looking positive now which can be the outcome of the suggestion made by our members. Your post will also be helpful for her to think on the points you raised. Regarding CA, MBA or CFA, the same debate we had in past but I backed up because I am a technical person. For sure she must be knowing better than me about future in finance studies. Also at some stages she was influenced by her friends and so took some wrong decisions.
Thanks a lot once again.
Best regards,
VIJAY

From United Arab Emirates, Ras Al Khaimah
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