Vinisha ji.
Namaskar.
I find a very deep perception of life in your note. To illustrate your points let me tell me about a gentleman who visited me last evening. We are known to each other for about last 6 months. He is retired and getting pension about Rs.8000/- per month. He parys God-"Oh God! please lift me". My diagnosis is that he is touchy, fussy and fastidious. He comes to me to get a bit momentary solace which he gets from none. Whereas my purpose is to transform the person completely but in last 6 months he has not budged even a milimetre. The sum and substance of yesterday's conversation was that:
1.You can not change the world as you wish. You will have to find out your way there. It depends, how skilled you are.
2.The more you use "why" and "should" for others the more you will suffer. The gentleman not only frequently uses why and should for others but also for nature and God.
Though he has not budged even a milimetre in last 6 months, I have not lost hope.
regards
From India, Delhi
174Namaskar.
I find a very deep perception of life in your note. To illustrate your points let me tell me about a gentleman who visited me last evening. We are known to each other for about last 6 months. He is retired and getting pension about Rs.8000/- per month. He parys God-"Oh God! please lift me". My diagnosis is that he is touchy, fussy and fastidious. He comes to me to get a bit momentary solace which he gets from none. Whereas my purpose is to transform the person completely but in last 6 months he has not budged even a milimetre. The sum and substance of yesterday's conversation was that:
1.You can not change the world as you wish. You will have to find out your way there. It depends, how skilled you are.
2.The more you use "why" and "should" for others the more you will suffer. The gentleman not only frequently uses why and should for others but also for nature and God.
Though he has not budged even a milimetre in last 6 months, I have not lost hope.
regards
From India, Delhi
Jogeshwar ji, It's good that you have not lost hope as yet. Hope is what keeps us going on. If that Gentleman has been coming to you for the past 6 months, I can see him having a hope of change. Though it is very possible that he hopes that you will be in a position to change his life. However, he might just not realise that until and unless he changes his perception of life, his life wouldn't change much either.
The use of " should" for others, I agree, isn't justified. Although, we do have a lot of "shoulds" around us. "Children should not talk to strangers" is one such example. Using "should" for a justified purpose like the one mentioned in the earlier statement, is indeed justified. But using "should" as follows:
"She should not have left me alone"
I don't think that's justified.
When it comes to "why" for others, same rule applies. I think using "why" for others can be necessary. "Why" in the context of curiousity and not in the context of complaining/ fussing. I am pretty sure you must be using a lot of curiousity "why" yourself. Justified, I say, because else we would not have half the knowledge or creations of this world.
"What if" is another usage which can be discussed in depth. Eg. "What if I don't succeed?". It can hamper a person's development and progress in life.
It's amazing how words can have such a major impact on the human mind!
Regards,
Vinisha.
From India,
The use of " should" for others, I agree, isn't justified. Although, we do have a lot of "shoulds" around us. "Children should not talk to strangers" is one such example. Using "should" for a justified purpose like the one mentioned in the earlier statement, is indeed justified. But using "should" as follows:
"She should not have left me alone"
I don't think that's justified.
When it comes to "why" for others, same rule applies. I think using "why" for others can be necessary. "Why" in the context of curiousity and not in the context of complaining/ fussing. I am pretty sure you must be using a lot of curiousity "why" yourself. Justified, I say, because else we would not have half the knowledge or creations of this world.
"What if" is another usage which can be discussed in depth. Eg. "What if I don't succeed?". It can hamper a person's development and progress in life.
It's amazing how words can have such a major impact on the human mind!
Regards,
Vinisha.
From India,
Vinisha ji! You have rightly caught the thread. When one becomes mindful about his/her "why" and "should" then he/she will differentiate which are contributory and which are detrimental to life as such. The left out frequency will be minimal and really contributory to life.
About "what if". We use it to break obsession. For example, some one could not marry his/her loved one and the memory is haunting him/her. In such circumstance we ask the sufferer to sit down, relax and imagine that he/she has married the person of his/her choice. Then we ask him/her to have the dreams of being with the person. Let it be daily 45 minutes. Hardly within a week the sufferer will forget his/her obsession "Ek tu na mila, sare duniyan mile bhi to kya"
regards
From India, Delhi
About "what if". We use it to break obsession. For example, some one could not marry his/her loved one and the memory is haunting him/her. In such circumstance we ask the sufferer to sit down, relax and imagine that he/she has married the person of his/her choice. Then we ask him/her to have the dreams of being with the person. Let it be daily 45 minutes. Hardly within a week the sufferer will forget his/her obsession "Ek tu na mila, sare duniyan mile bhi to kya"
regards
From India, Delhi
Wonderful. "Imagine Experiencing the Desirable Unexperienced"
But would it hold true for every other person? I mean, does a person necessarily forget his obsession. I believe, there are people who may just end up getting even more obssessed about it. An obsession that may not be healthy for him/her or people around him, especially the one he/ she is obsessing about.
This therapy would probably be required to be supplemented with other sessions, to avoid a negative outcome.
I am just making a guess. Do let me know whether I am right!
Regards,
Vinisha.
From India,
But would it hold true for every other person? I mean, does a person necessarily forget his obsession. I believe, there are people who may just end up getting even more obssessed about it. An obsession that may not be healthy for him/her or people around him, especially the one he/ she is obsessing about.
This therapy would probably be required to be supplemented with other sessions, to avoid a negative outcome.
I am just making a guess. Do let me know whether I am right!
Regards,
Vinisha.
From India,
hey numeruno, long time no see
hey vini , hi Dr JM, the discussion is a good read,
this above para is the real reasin for the confusion, dont u think?
seek for money is as good as a trap
it is rightly said, human wants are like the tidal waves. never- ending.
and i guess, once u start getting what u want, u start wanting more. well, human wants are unlimited
my point of view, i hope i always cherish my life. i know i do now, but i hope i continue it too,
life is not just livelihood...its soo sad if people mix it up..one should earn livelihood tolive..and not turn up living to earn
one should be focussed on the goal.and rest of the things will fall in place..
my advice - retire at 45 :wink:
From India, Mumbai
hey vini , hi Dr JM, the discussion is a good read,
this above para is the real reasin for the confusion, dont u think?
seek for money is as good as a trap
it is rightly said, human wants are like the tidal waves. never- ending.
and i guess, once u start getting what u want, u start wanting more. well, human wants are unlimited
my point of view, i hope i always cherish my life. i know i do now, but i hope i continue it too,
life is not just livelihood...its soo sad if people mix it up..one should earn livelihood tolive..and not turn up living to earn
one should be focussed on the goal.and rest of the things will fall in place..
my advice - retire at 45 :wink:
From India, Mumbai
Namaskar Vinisha ji.
I am happy that you liked the technique. I was responding to your"what if". It is not the only way to break obsession. Every one of us have obsessions. Obsessions confine us in our groovy thoughts. Consequently we use very limited brain cells of ours. So to break the obsessions and to stimulate maximum brain cells, I impart an exercise to my trainee participants. It is highly enjoyable.
regards
From India, Delhi
I am happy that you liked the technique. I was responding to your"what if". It is not the only way to break obsession. Every one of us have obsessions. Obsessions confine us in our groovy thoughts. Consequently we use very limited brain cells of ours. So to break the obsessions and to stimulate maximum brain cells, I impart an exercise to my trainee participants. It is highly enjoyable.
regards
From India, Delhi
Namaskar Sunayna ji.Happy to find you in this thread. I am sure, the discussion will enrich further.
Your post reminds of a man who angrily says-Having so much money also go on running after money and money and money.
I asked him-Are they after your money?
He says "No"
Then I asked him-Why are you so angry then?
Regarding money and wealth my perception is that more is disease and less is curse. What is optimum needs to be decided. Living with optimum is called aparigraha in Sanskrit.
regards
From India, Delhi
Your post reminds of a man who angrily says-Having so much money also go on running after money and money and money.
I asked him-Are they after your money?
He says "No"
Then I asked him-Why are you so angry then?
Regarding money and wealth my perception is that more is disease and less is curse. What is optimum needs to be decided. Living with optimum is called aparigraha in Sanskrit.
regards
From India, Delhi
More or less but not optimum is suffering. but is it not suffering to be pained by others' money?
Also life is not just money only. I think money is just some thing and not every thing in life.
regards
From India, Delhi
Also life is not just money only. I think money is just some thing and not every thing in life.
regards
From India, Delhi
Jogeshwarji,
You said you impart techniques to help people break away from obsessing. What is this technique?
Also, referring to your statement, "More or less but not optimum is suffering. but is it not suffering to be pained by others' money?"
the suffering caused by the pain of others' having more money can be completely avoided if a person learns to be content with what he has and realises that his is a life different from others, including the one with loads of money. The suffering is a result of what one can call "comparison of one's life to others". But isn't such comparison absolutely futile when our life is always going to be different from that of others?
Hi sunayna,
Welcome. I was wondering what was keeping you from participating. i guess the answer is "I just saw this post!" I am sure I was near to your answer. he he.I like the quote, "Human wants are like tidal waves"
Regards,
Vinisha.
From India,
You said you impart techniques to help people break away from obsessing. What is this technique?
Also, referring to your statement, "More or less but not optimum is suffering. but is it not suffering to be pained by others' money?"
the suffering caused by the pain of others' having more money can be completely avoided if a person learns to be content with what he has and realises that his is a life different from others, including the one with loads of money. The suffering is a result of what one can call "comparison of one's life to others". But isn't such comparison absolutely futile when our life is always going to be different from that of others?
Hi sunayna,
Welcome. I was wondering what was keeping you from participating. i guess the answer is "I just saw this post!" I am sure I was near to your answer. he he.I like the quote, "Human wants are like tidal waves"
Regards,
Vinisha.
From India,
you think you know me soo well ..you na....
the real reason is not that i didnt see the post, but i ...
am not telling you the real reason :twisted:
PS : CIte hr is more fun, now that you are here, by the way :oops:
hi Dr. JM
i wanted to ask the same thing..what are the techniques to help people break away from obsessing? isnt it difficult?
i guess common sense is important
From India, Mumbai
the real reason is not that i didnt see the post, but i ...
am not telling you the real reason :twisted:
PS : CIte hr is more fun, now that you are here, by the way :oops:
hi Dr. JM
i wanted to ask the same thing..what are the techniques to help people break away from obsessing? isnt it difficult?
i guess common sense is important
From India, Mumbai
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