Hi all, this is Kiran,iam 29 yrs girl working in mnc, my boyfriend is 25 yrs old he is very serious abt me & now willing to ask my parents for marraige, now i am bit confused &worried abt this age difference, so please I need your advice. is age difference matters in marraige relationshipis there any problems arries if older woman marreid to younger man?plz help me to take a correct decision. Awating for all your valuable advices...Kiran
From India
From India
Hello Kiran,
I am not sure if this situation can be addressed properly on an open forum like this.....since quite a few aspects that you may not like to be out in the open could need to be discussed.
But to put it in a nutshell & very generically, always look for EMOTIONAL, MENTAL compatibility before you get into the age factor.....not whether you like his face or he likes your's. And age has NOTHING to do with emotional/mental maturity. I know of persons about your age, but with the maturity level of 40+ yrs-got to do a lot with their life experiences. I have also seen persons who are above 50 yrs but with the maturity level of 20s. And gender too has NOTHING to do with this.
Did you ever give this a thought: why do the elders suggest the woman to be of a lesser age than the man for marriage? Nature has made woman to mature [not just physically] much earlier than the man. Without getting into the 'why' of it, this leads to the situation where a woman of, say 20 yrs, usually ends up having the emotional & mental maturity level of a 24-25 yrs man. BUT REMEMBER there are exceptions for this too, like for every rule-depends on the life's experiences of that person.
So try to recollect your past interaction with him and don't focus on WHAT HE SAID/DID, but focus on HOW HE SAID/DID whatever he said/did & pl use your logical part of the brain to make a good guess on the WHY part [meaning why he could have said/did whatever he said/did]--I have seen many people-male & female- do the right things FOR THE WRONG REASONS...in a normal situation that could be OK, but in situations like your's it could be a royal invitation for future disaster.
Another way to get an indication would be use of Horoscope matching....I have found this gives a good idea of the POSSIBLE problem areas and then you can decide. Like for eg., suppose the man has a tendency [based on Horoscope readings] to spend excessively, the match would be compatible ONLY if the woman has a thrifty temperment....so on & so forth. In this, your choice of the RIGHT astrologer will be critical-just as your doctor's choice when you are ill. If the one doctor turns out to be a half-baked guy, you don't blame the whole lot of them...right?
Just remember that the key is to evaluate the issue thru ALL THE MEANS available and then do the Balancing act-NO METHOD IS FINAL-just as however well you prepare for an exam, there will always a chance you might not score well.....but by preparing well you are JUST REDUCING THE CHANCES OF GETTING LOW SCORES. All of them need to be used to get the final picture and then THE DECISION HAS TO BE YOURS.
Hope this is of use to you.
Rgds & All the BEST,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
1637I am not sure if this situation can be addressed properly on an open forum like this.....since quite a few aspects that you may not like to be out in the open could need to be discussed.
But to put it in a nutshell & very generically, always look for EMOTIONAL, MENTAL compatibility before you get into the age factor.....not whether you like his face or he likes your's. And age has NOTHING to do with emotional/mental maturity. I know of persons about your age, but with the maturity level of 40+ yrs-got to do a lot with their life experiences. I have also seen persons who are above 50 yrs but with the maturity level of 20s. And gender too has NOTHING to do with this.
Did you ever give this a thought: why do the elders suggest the woman to be of a lesser age than the man for marriage? Nature has made woman to mature [not just physically] much earlier than the man. Without getting into the 'why' of it, this leads to the situation where a woman of, say 20 yrs, usually ends up having the emotional & mental maturity level of a 24-25 yrs man. BUT REMEMBER there are exceptions for this too, like for every rule-depends on the life's experiences of that person.
So try to recollect your past interaction with him and don't focus on WHAT HE SAID/DID, but focus on HOW HE SAID/DID whatever he said/did & pl use your logical part of the brain to make a good guess on the WHY part [meaning why he could have said/did whatever he said/did]--I have seen many people-male & female- do the right things FOR THE WRONG REASONS...in a normal situation that could be OK, but in situations like your's it could be a royal invitation for future disaster.
Another way to get an indication would be use of Horoscope matching....I have found this gives a good idea of the POSSIBLE problem areas and then you can decide. Like for eg., suppose the man has a tendency [based on Horoscope readings] to spend excessively, the match would be compatible ONLY if the woman has a thrifty temperment....so on & so forth. In this, your choice of the RIGHT astrologer will be critical-just as your doctor's choice when you are ill. If the one doctor turns out to be a half-baked guy, you don't blame the whole lot of them...right?
Just remember that the key is to evaluate the issue thru ALL THE MEANS available and then do the Balancing act-NO METHOD IS FINAL-just as however well you prepare for an exam, there will always a chance you might not score well.....but by preparing well you are JUST REDUCING THE CHANCES OF GETTING LOW SCORES. All of them need to be used to get the final picture and then THE DECISION HAS TO BE YOURS.
Hope this is of use to you.
Rgds & All the BEST,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
Dear Kiran,
I dnt knw wht society norms are bout the boy being elder than the girl.All I knw is marriage is all bout compatibilty.Its like when you too are ready to adjust and are comfortable with each other thn how cum all this age bar n all can cum in between.i think you should go ahead.Otherwise you might loose sumthin tht has been very dear to you n u knwits very difficult to find a true lover in this world
My best wishes r wid u
Shubhu
From India, Gurgaon
I dnt knw wht society norms are bout the boy being elder than the girl.All I knw is marriage is all bout compatibilty.Its like when you too are ready to adjust and are comfortable with each other thn how cum all this age bar n all can cum in between.i think you should go ahead.Otherwise you might loose sumthin tht has been very dear to you n u knwits very difficult to find a true lover in this world
My best wishes r wid u
Shubhu
From India, Gurgaon
hi kiran you know he loves you and there is no need to see the difference of age, even though you feel something share these things with your mom & dad, they will also help you for this , let them know , i think he has a daring he not only even think of these problem, you know sachin tendulkar wife is elder than sachin there would be so many cases
how is he, his nature, his behaviour and career job and think about him practically actually this things you have to thing whether you love him or not
i feel you dont have too loose that person
From India, Pune
how is he, his nature, his behaviour and career job and think about him practically actually this things you have to thing whether you love him or not
i feel you dont have too loose that person
From India, Pune
hai age difference is not a big proble for you. but the only problem is you have to convince your parents and your life partner too...
From India, Hyderabad
From India, Hyderabad
Hi Kiran Baby,
Please Remember That Life Is More Important And We Must Enjoy And Respect The Life And Peole .
In Case Of Expression Of Love To Another Person Age Dosen't Matter Because Age In Just Number.
I Am 30 And Love My Lady Boss Director-hr, She Is 48 Years Europian Lady. While Working Together It Happens That Often male And Female Colleagues Get Attracted To Each Other And Fal In Love.
This Is Natural Phenominon. Initially, We Felt Difficult But Once We Open Our Mind And Heart We Enjoy Life Because We Like Each Otehr And Enjoy Company.
Rashid
From Saudi Arabia
Please Remember That Life Is More Important And We Must Enjoy And Respect The Life And Peole .
In Case Of Expression Of Love To Another Person Age Dosen't Matter Because Age In Just Number.
I Am 30 And Love My Lady Boss Director-hr, She Is 48 Years Europian Lady. While Working Together It Happens That Often male And Female Colleagues Get Attracted To Each Other And Fal In Love.
This Is Natural Phenominon. Initially, We Felt Difficult But Once We Open Our Mind And Heart We Enjoy Life Because We Like Each Otehr And Enjoy Company.
Rashid
From Saudi Arabia
thats what all HR s do, and you call rashid lucky gal, i dont think he is lucky,, his boss director hr is lucky, heehhe :p:p:p
pat gayi to maza le lo
nahi pati to sexual harassment use karo,, hehehe wot a life ,, wot a HR wot people wot discussion wot topic wot replies :sleep::sleep:
From India, Pune
pat gayi to maza le lo
nahi pati to sexual harassment use karo,, hehehe wot a life ,, wot a HR wot people wot discussion wot topic wot replies :sleep::sleep:
From India, Pune
Go ahead nothing will trouble you as long as your heart meets, relationship is all about trust , love and companionship. Listening , Caring, Arguing , teasing, togetherness a bond of love where in Age do not matters unless you use your brains.
In work use your brains and in love do what your heart says. It will definatley benefit you in the long run and in india itself we have number of age difference marriages taken place so just do not worry .. Go Ahead and God it great .. he is watcing you guys and will definately help in all the situations untill and unless your both intentions are clear... its all about destiny lady.
Cheers to Life !
From India, Mumbai
In work use your brains and in love do what your heart says. It will definatley benefit you in the long run and in india itself we have number of age difference marriages taken place so just do not worry .. Go Ahead and God it great .. he is watcing you guys and will definately help in all the situations untill and unless your both intentions are clear... its all about destiny lady.
Cheers to Life !
From India, Mumbai
Hi Kiran....
Dont you think its too late to ask what to do now??? because you say that he is your boyfriend already.. when there cant be any problems making him your boyfirend then there shouldnt be any problem in spending your life with.... i feel the extenal factors that might effect you both after marraige would always be there even now..
just a thought....~~!!!
From India, Hyderabad
Dont you think its too late to ask what to do now??? because you say that he is your boyfriend already.. when there cant be any problems making him your boyfirend then there shouldnt be any problem in spending your life with.... i feel the extenal factors that might effect you both after marraige would always be there even now..
just a thought....~~!!!
From India, Hyderabad
Hi Kiran,
I am quite surprised with the reactions to my response. But truly speaking, you must think once whatever your decision would be, that will have both pros and cons like a formal arrange marriage.
Because you will enjoy happiness until you are live. We think for sustenance of every relationship until death which is not guranteed to any one by any means.
We don't know tomarrow why then think of tomarrow lets live life as on today what is in hand.
When my lady boss proposed me, I was typical indian mindset man but she explained me her theory that tomarrow is not in your hand, live life with options available today.
Age is just number and this cannot be reversed or adjusted. we have to accept whatever is beforehand and respect the creation of almighty and his beauty every creation of almighty is beautiful age has no disqualification until your soul and heart function normally.
I am happy without any age, caste, religion, colour barrier and doing very well in our professional jobs. She is still my boss,in the office and at home I am her boss. We observe decorum as professional in office and earn good respect from our office staff becasue our jobs is not hinderance and at home we are free birds.
Education liberates your thinking and open your mind with robust rationale to look forward.
Rashid
From Saudi Arabia
I am quite surprised with the reactions to my response. But truly speaking, you must think once whatever your decision would be, that will have both pros and cons like a formal arrange marriage.
Because you will enjoy happiness until you are live. We think for sustenance of every relationship until death which is not guranteed to any one by any means.
We don't know tomarrow why then think of tomarrow lets live life as on today what is in hand.
When my lady boss proposed me, I was typical indian mindset man but she explained me her theory that tomarrow is not in your hand, live life with options available today.
Age is just number and this cannot be reversed or adjusted. we have to accept whatever is beforehand and respect the creation of almighty and his beauty every creation of almighty is beautiful age has no disqualification until your soul and heart function normally.
I am happy without any age, caste, religion, colour barrier and doing very well in our professional jobs. She is still my boss,in the office and at home I am her boss. We observe decorum as professional in office and earn good respect from our office staff becasue our jobs is not hinderance and at home we are free birds.
Education liberates your thinking and open your mind with robust rationale to look forward.
Rashid
From Saudi Arabia
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