Mom’s letter
I`m writing this slow because I know you can`t read fast. We don`t live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won`t be able to send you the address as the last family here took the House Number with them for their next house, so they wouldn`t have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in, pulled the chain, and I haven`t seen em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days this time. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven`t found out whether it`s a girl or a boy, so I don`t know if you are an Aunt or an Uncle. Not much more news this time, write soon. Love, Mom.
P.S. Was going to send you money, but the envelope was already sealed.
** ** **
The Fur Coat.
A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drover furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.
So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat.
As the lady tries it on, the furrier goes up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000."
"No problem I will write you a check!"
"Very good, sir." Says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared.
So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns.
The storeowner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here? There was not a single penny in your checking account!!"
"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"
** ** **
Statue’s Revenge
In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
And with that command, the statues came to life.
The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dived behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the giggling of statues, rustling of bushes and snapping of twigs.
After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time you hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on its head!"
From India, Calcutta
1I`m writing this slow because I know you can`t read fast. We don`t live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won`t be able to send you the address as the last family here took the House Number with them for their next house, so they wouldn`t have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in, pulled the chain, and I haven`t seen em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days this time. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven`t found out whether it`s a girl or a boy, so I don`t know if you are an Aunt or an Uncle. Not much more news this time, write soon. Love, Mom.
P.S. Was going to send you money, but the envelope was already sealed.
** ** **
The Fur Coat.
A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drover furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.
So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat.
As the lady tries it on, the furrier goes up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000."
"No problem I will write you a check!"
"Very good, sir." Says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared.
So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns.
The storeowner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here? There was not a single penny in your checking account!!"
"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"
** ** **
Statue’s Revenge
In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
And with that command, the statues came to life.
The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dived behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the giggling of statues, rustling of bushes and snapping of twigs.
After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time you hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on its head!"
From India, Calcutta
Hi Manoj,
Thanks for this post. I burst into laughter after reading the Statue's Revenge.
Regards,
RAJA CSN
GLOBALedge TRAINING ACADEMY
From India, Madras
Thanks for this post. I burst into laughter after reading the Statue's Revenge.
Regards,
RAJA CSN
GLOBALedge TRAINING ACADEMY
From India, Madras
:-D:icon6::icon6::icon6::icon6::-D Nice one Manoj
Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u going?
Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight ?
Man: My wife...
--------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll
kill u.
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u going?
Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight ?
Man: My wife...
--------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll
kill u.
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
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