“Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.”
- Stan Smith
Everybody could do with a bit more confidence in one or more areas of their lives, whether it’s at work, in a relationship or in meeting new people. And if you want complete and well-rounded success, you have to have boatloads of self-confidence.
Even if you’re reasonably assured most of the time, it is beneficial to do a little mental strengthening every once in a while. It feels good to be self-confident, which perpetuates more confidence, impresses people and brings you success. So review this list and try to follow a few of the tips even if you think you have it in spades. You just might end up feeling even better about yourself than you ever thought possible.
1. Know your worth.
In order to achieve anything in life, it is important that you know your self worth. So maintain an awareness of all that you do for the world. Take a minute each day to remind yourself – or write down – what you’ve accomplished at work, in your love life, in social settings, at your office, with your finances, and so on. Realize what you are capable of doing and you will feel stronger and have more self-confidence.
2. Dump the past.
Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Whatever has happened previously has gone forever. Today you can dump the past and start afresh. You can shape whatever happens from now on and create a new, confident you. Forget the past and begin taking action to build a brighter future. And just because things have been a certain way till now, it doesn’t mean they always have to be this way. You can change, you can be confident. It’s up to you.
3. Drop self-deprecation.
Let go of self-limiting thoughts and behaviors. If you repeatedly put yourself down it will knock confidence right out of you. Criticizing your looks, your body shape, your hair, your abilities and your personality is harmful. If you do this everyday, confidence will be non-existent. You wouldn’t think this is a decent way to treat others so make it totally unacceptable for you to treat yourself this way. Be kind to yourself, respect yourself and never ever beat yourself up.
4. Take responsibility.
You can’t choose your family, and you can rarely change people. But you have 100% control of how you react to them. The greatest stress in life is to hold someone else accountable for something they can’t control. The only person you control is you. Once you begin to appreciate how big an impact you can have on your relationships, you’ll feel – and be – so much more powerful.
5. Decide what you want for your future.
Stake your claim. Having a goal or vision will give your life direction, purpose, and passion. And the process of setting a goal, looking forward to it and then accomplishing it, is very fulfilling and a huge boost to your self-confidence. After you’ve dropped those 15 pounds or finally paid off the loan, reward yourself and note the satisfaction of having achieved exactly what you set out to do.
6. Just do it.
The future belongs to the risk takers, not the security seekers. Everything you want is out there – you just have to take action, do stuff, to get it. So whether you want to change career, gain a new skill or buy a gorgeous pair of posh shoes, take a step towards achieving it today. With each step – big or small – you’ll grow stronger and more confident. Taking action always, always raises self-esteem and self-belief. Both of these are necessary to be confident. One of the coolest things about confidence is that once you gain it in one part of your life – it has a lovely tendency of boosting it in others.
7. Accept failure.
Accepting that you will sometimes fail is key to maintaining a high self-confidence. If you do your best and still don’t win, at least you can be satisfied that you’ve tried. If you don’t view failure as a part of life, the smallest derailment can be shattering to your ego. Take risks and learn to fall short; this will teach you at least as much as, if not more than, unfaltering success will.
8. Frequently remind yourself of all of the good things you have done.
If you keep reminding yourself of all the mistakes you’ve made, your confidence levels will remain grounded. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Reminding yourself of the good things you have done builds self-esteem. Why beat yourself up when you can praise yourself instead?
Keep in mind what Anthony Robbins said: “If you’ve ever done anything successfully, you can do it again. Imagine and feel certain now about the emotions you deserve to have instead of waiting for them to spontaneously appear someday in the far distant future.”
9. Create scenes in your mind of happiness, health, and success.
Fill in the details with sounds, colors, and scents. Pull up these images whenever you need a boost. By providing positive pictures and self-suggestion, visualization can change emotions that subsequently have a physical effect on the body.
10. Look forward to something.
Plan a vacation, getaway weekend, or fun day trip. When stress strikes, recall the event you’ve planned for the near future. Everything seems a little bit easier when you have a trip planned. You’re willing to work more hours and tolerate the little things that usually make you crazy.
11. Learn a new trade or craft.
Learn to do something new. You’ll reassure yourself that, with some thought and preparation, you can tackle the unexpected. You’ll also build your knowledge base and gain self-confidence by being able to adapt your knowledge to new tasks. Take an economics class or learn about a remote geographic location in a book. Better yet, do it hands-on: have your mechanic friend come over and show you how to do some preventative car maintenance.
12. Work on your small talk.
Some of us really struggle in social situations such as a conference because they feel they lack the confidence to engage in small talk with people they do not know. They constantly avoid these situations and therefore their confidence does not improve – and nor does their circle of friends. So if you get invited somewhere, make sure you go! The more social situations you get in, the more comfortable you’ll feel making small talk to people you’ve only just met.
13. Learn from the experts.
Unless you’re one of those fortunate people who were told from a very young age that they could be and do anything, your self-confidence is probably something that needs to be – and can be – worked on. So why not learn from those who walk their talk? Buy a book of affirmations and carry it with you. Read it throughout the day to lift your spirits and instill confidence.
14. Arm yourself with the facts.
The more you examine a subject, the more confident you’ll feel discussing it. If you’re nervous talking to your parents or partner about an issue that’s worrying you, then do a little bit of research before bringing it up with them. Just having the information in your own mind will make you feel more confident.
15. Breaking up big goals or tasks into smaller chunks.
If you have been set a task that seems impossible, take it apart and even drill it down to hourly steps. Small progresses eventually do add up to the greater progresses. And as you achieve each step your confidence will grow and you will also achieve a sense of mastery over the issue.
16. Mix with positive people.
Make it a point to socialize with people that are able to put you in the limelight during conversations. Negative people erode confidence like rust upon metal. Who you spend your time with influences how you are. It can be hard to drop negative people but be strong and find a better quality of company. The more time you spend with confident people the more confident you’ll become. Confidence breeds confidence.
17. Be aware of what you allow your mind to be exposed to.
From television to magazines to the Internet, the media is everywhere impacting our daily lives on a subconscious level. It continually bombard you with image manipulation and tales of corruption, wars, crime, disasters and impending doom. This can give you a negative perspective on life. Reduce the amount of TV you watch and do something more beneficial instead. Read a book, workout, learn a new skill – whatever you want. This will replace a negative stream with a positive one, and will boost your confidence.
18. Be philosophical.
This means that if things don’t quite go the way you planned, you can put events into perspective and you won’t let the experience knock your confidence. For example, if you don’t get that job you wanted so much, then why not think about what else is round the corner, rather than ruminating too much on why you failed?
19. Socialize with everyone.
The bank teller, the bus driver, your doctor’s secretary; it is beneficial to strike up a conversation with anyone who crosses your path. Sharpen your social skills and this will make you more sociable and confident with people, especially strangers. As a result, you won’t feel threatened or insecure in unfamiliar situations.
20. Look good.
If you look good, you feel good! If you feel good, you look good! But for those whose self-confidence has reached an all-time low, ceasing to care about their appearance might be a final sign that it’s time to change. How you look is how the world sees you, so don’t neglect your appearance. If you can take pride in looking good when you leave the house, it will do wonders for your self-confidence – when you know you look good, others notice. So do things right and walk with your back straight.
21. Be active.
Keep in mind that staying physically fit is as important as staying mentally sane. A lot of us need to workout in order to maintain a positive self-image; others, to fend off hereditary heart disease. But everyone, without exception, feels better and has more self-confidence when they’re in shape. The endorphins that are released during exercise will lift your spirits during your workout and, in the long-term, help you feel capable to accomplish your goals.
22. Be well-rounded.
Maintain interest and skill in all aspects of your life. In other words, don’t neglect your model-building hobby, your public-speaking voice or your lawn-maintenance schedule. Meanwhile, don’t let your job absorb all of your free time, and make sure your new partner doesn’t keep you away from your other passions. To maintain a maximized level of self-confidence, you want all of your personal qualities to be exercised as often as possible.
We all need to boost our self-confidence in different ways and for different reasons. The trick is to find out where you need to improve and then go out and do just that. Building up self-confidence takes time and commitment but it is well worth it. You will soon find yourself embracing yourself and giving off a very positive energy that will surely come back to you. So take the bull by the horns – the bull is you.
From India, Chandigarh
11- Stan Smith
Everybody could do with a bit more confidence in one or more areas of their lives, whether it’s at work, in a relationship or in meeting new people. And if you want complete and well-rounded success, you have to have boatloads of self-confidence.
Even if you’re reasonably assured most of the time, it is beneficial to do a little mental strengthening every once in a while. It feels good to be self-confident, which perpetuates more confidence, impresses people and brings you success. So review this list and try to follow a few of the tips even if you think you have it in spades. You just might end up feeling even better about yourself than you ever thought possible.
1. Know your worth.
In order to achieve anything in life, it is important that you know your self worth. So maintain an awareness of all that you do for the world. Take a minute each day to remind yourself – or write down – what you’ve accomplished at work, in your love life, in social settings, at your office, with your finances, and so on. Realize what you are capable of doing and you will feel stronger and have more self-confidence.
2. Dump the past.
Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Whatever has happened previously has gone forever. Today you can dump the past and start afresh. You can shape whatever happens from now on and create a new, confident you. Forget the past and begin taking action to build a brighter future. And just because things have been a certain way till now, it doesn’t mean they always have to be this way. You can change, you can be confident. It’s up to you.
3. Drop self-deprecation.
Let go of self-limiting thoughts and behaviors. If you repeatedly put yourself down it will knock confidence right out of you. Criticizing your looks, your body shape, your hair, your abilities and your personality is harmful. If you do this everyday, confidence will be non-existent. You wouldn’t think this is a decent way to treat others so make it totally unacceptable for you to treat yourself this way. Be kind to yourself, respect yourself and never ever beat yourself up.
4. Take responsibility.
You can’t choose your family, and you can rarely change people. But you have 100% control of how you react to them. The greatest stress in life is to hold someone else accountable for something they can’t control. The only person you control is you. Once you begin to appreciate how big an impact you can have on your relationships, you’ll feel – and be – so much more powerful.
5. Decide what you want for your future.
Stake your claim. Having a goal or vision will give your life direction, purpose, and passion. And the process of setting a goal, looking forward to it and then accomplishing it, is very fulfilling and a huge boost to your self-confidence. After you’ve dropped those 15 pounds or finally paid off the loan, reward yourself and note the satisfaction of having achieved exactly what you set out to do.
6. Just do it.
The future belongs to the risk takers, not the security seekers. Everything you want is out there – you just have to take action, do stuff, to get it. So whether you want to change career, gain a new skill or buy a gorgeous pair of posh shoes, take a step towards achieving it today. With each step – big or small – you’ll grow stronger and more confident. Taking action always, always raises self-esteem and self-belief. Both of these are necessary to be confident. One of the coolest things about confidence is that once you gain it in one part of your life – it has a lovely tendency of boosting it in others.
7. Accept failure.
Accepting that you will sometimes fail is key to maintaining a high self-confidence. If you do your best and still don’t win, at least you can be satisfied that you’ve tried. If you don’t view failure as a part of life, the smallest derailment can be shattering to your ego. Take risks and learn to fall short; this will teach you at least as much as, if not more than, unfaltering success will.
8. Frequently remind yourself of all of the good things you have done.
If you keep reminding yourself of all the mistakes you’ve made, your confidence levels will remain grounded. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Reminding yourself of the good things you have done builds self-esteem. Why beat yourself up when you can praise yourself instead?
Keep in mind what Anthony Robbins said: “If you’ve ever done anything successfully, you can do it again. Imagine and feel certain now about the emotions you deserve to have instead of waiting for them to spontaneously appear someday in the far distant future.”
9. Create scenes in your mind of happiness, health, and success.
Fill in the details with sounds, colors, and scents. Pull up these images whenever you need a boost. By providing positive pictures and self-suggestion, visualization can change emotions that subsequently have a physical effect on the body.
10. Look forward to something.
Plan a vacation, getaway weekend, or fun day trip. When stress strikes, recall the event you’ve planned for the near future. Everything seems a little bit easier when you have a trip planned. You’re willing to work more hours and tolerate the little things that usually make you crazy.
11. Learn a new trade or craft.
Learn to do something new. You’ll reassure yourself that, with some thought and preparation, you can tackle the unexpected. You’ll also build your knowledge base and gain self-confidence by being able to adapt your knowledge to new tasks. Take an economics class or learn about a remote geographic location in a book. Better yet, do it hands-on: have your mechanic friend come over and show you how to do some preventative car maintenance.
12. Work on your small talk.
Some of us really struggle in social situations such as a conference because they feel they lack the confidence to engage in small talk with people they do not know. They constantly avoid these situations and therefore their confidence does not improve – and nor does their circle of friends. So if you get invited somewhere, make sure you go! The more social situations you get in, the more comfortable you’ll feel making small talk to people you’ve only just met.
13. Learn from the experts.
Unless you’re one of those fortunate people who were told from a very young age that they could be and do anything, your self-confidence is probably something that needs to be – and can be – worked on. So why not learn from those who walk their talk? Buy a book of affirmations and carry it with you. Read it throughout the day to lift your spirits and instill confidence.
14. Arm yourself with the facts.
The more you examine a subject, the more confident you’ll feel discussing it. If you’re nervous talking to your parents or partner about an issue that’s worrying you, then do a little bit of research before bringing it up with them. Just having the information in your own mind will make you feel more confident.
15. Breaking up big goals or tasks into smaller chunks.
If you have been set a task that seems impossible, take it apart and even drill it down to hourly steps. Small progresses eventually do add up to the greater progresses. And as you achieve each step your confidence will grow and you will also achieve a sense of mastery over the issue.
16. Mix with positive people.
Make it a point to socialize with people that are able to put you in the limelight during conversations. Negative people erode confidence like rust upon metal. Who you spend your time with influences how you are. It can be hard to drop negative people but be strong and find a better quality of company. The more time you spend with confident people the more confident you’ll become. Confidence breeds confidence.
17. Be aware of what you allow your mind to be exposed to.
From television to magazines to the Internet, the media is everywhere impacting our daily lives on a subconscious level. It continually bombard you with image manipulation and tales of corruption, wars, crime, disasters and impending doom. This can give you a negative perspective on life. Reduce the amount of TV you watch and do something more beneficial instead. Read a book, workout, learn a new skill – whatever you want. This will replace a negative stream with a positive one, and will boost your confidence.
18. Be philosophical.
This means that if things don’t quite go the way you planned, you can put events into perspective and you won’t let the experience knock your confidence. For example, if you don’t get that job you wanted so much, then why not think about what else is round the corner, rather than ruminating too much on why you failed?
19. Socialize with everyone.
The bank teller, the bus driver, your doctor’s secretary; it is beneficial to strike up a conversation with anyone who crosses your path. Sharpen your social skills and this will make you more sociable and confident with people, especially strangers. As a result, you won’t feel threatened or insecure in unfamiliar situations.
20. Look good.
If you look good, you feel good! If you feel good, you look good! But for those whose self-confidence has reached an all-time low, ceasing to care about their appearance might be a final sign that it’s time to change. How you look is how the world sees you, so don’t neglect your appearance. If you can take pride in looking good when you leave the house, it will do wonders for your self-confidence – when you know you look good, others notice. So do things right and walk with your back straight.
21. Be active.
Keep in mind that staying physically fit is as important as staying mentally sane. A lot of us need to workout in order to maintain a positive self-image; others, to fend off hereditary heart disease. But everyone, without exception, feels better and has more self-confidence when they’re in shape. The endorphins that are released during exercise will lift your spirits during your workout and, in the long-term, help you feel capable to accomplish your goals.
22. Be well-rounded.
Maintain interest and skill in all aspects of your life. In other words, don’t neglect your model-building hobby, your public-speaking voice or your lawn-maintenance schedule. Meanwhile, don’t let your job absorb all of your free time, and make sure your new partner doesn’t keep you away from your other passions. To maintain a maximized level of self-confidence, you want all of your personal qualities to be exercised as often as possible.
We all need to boost our self-confidence in different ways and for different reasons. The trick is to find out where you need to improve and then go out and do just that. Building up self-confidence takes time and commitment but it is well worth it. You will soon find yourself embracing yourself and giving off a very positive energy that will surely come back to you. So take the bull by the horns – the bull is you.
From India, Chandigarh
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