Hello Friends, find the attached file How to win in an Argument? its very useful
From India, Bangalore
36From India, Bangalore
How to win in an Argument?
All of us at one time or the other indulge in arguments with someone. It can be your boss, colleagues or subordinate at work. It can be your spouse, son, daughter, parents, relatives or friends.
It is a tricky art to win over in an argument.
Let us first define Argument: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition. ...an argument is an intellectual process... contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
An argument is a deliberate attempt to move beyond just making an assertion. When offering an argument, you are offering a series of related statements which represent an attempt to support that assertion — to give others good reasons to believe that what you are asserting is true rather than false.
The purpose of an argument: to offer reasons and evidence for the purpose of establishing the truth value of a proposition, which can mean either establishing that the proposition is true or establishing that the proposition is false. If a series of statements does not do this, it isn’t an argument.
Most people think that winning an argument depends on one's communication skills. However, communication skills also need a smart and mean brain.
Here are some suggestions for winning an argument:
1. Blame the opponent for the argument: It is really important to maintain throughout the argument that your opponent started the argument at the first place. Always remember that you are a victim of your opponent's whim and someone as innocent as you can not possibly instigate a conflict situation.
2. Use a third person: Whenever you feel your opponent has made a bloody good point; just take shelter of a third person. Pretend that your opponent is not around, then turn to this third person, use the killer words "Can you imagine he said blah blah blah.... !! How ignorant can someone get." and then one smirk and a small pat to your forehead. Congratulations! You have won the round.
3. Make sure to advertise your small wins: Whenever you feel you have made a bloody good point, do not wait for his/her expressions or reactions. Take advantage of it. Again a smirk, a small shake of head from right to left and then a 20 seconds half smile with the look that says "Oh!! You poor darling."
4. Cook up the facts that nobody can verify: If you are doing a factual argument, feel free to create your own facts. After all, everybody has a right to create information. Just make sure that these facts are not easily verifiable. Use words like, "I read in a survey that ..... " or “There was this interesting episode on Discovery channel which told me that some Zebras can fly." Now let it be your opponent's headache to follow up with the Discovery channel office.
5. Make your opponent eat his/her own words: When your opponent presents an argument, try to make it round and personal. Trap him in such a way that he has to think twice before reacting and use this interruption to build on your own theory. You can trap him by proving that what he is saying is not practical and is totally inconsistent with his acts or beliefs. Force it down his throat that the point he just made was only to win the argument and that he does not really believe in that. A classic example is the suicide example. If someone is defending suicide, ask him why does not he hang himself at the first place? He will surely stammer before responding. Use this time to dominate him
Let us discuss do and don’ts in an argument.
Do:
Stay calm. Even if you get passionate about your point you must stay cool and in command of your emotions. If you lose your temper – you lose.
Use facts as evidence for your position. Facts are hard to refute so gather some pertinent data before the argument starts. Surveys, statistics, quotes from relevant people and results are useful arguments to deploy in support of your case.
Ask questions. If you can ask the right questions you can stay in control of the discussion and make your opponent scramble for answers. You can ask questions that challenge his point, ‘What evidence do you have for that claim?’ You can ask hypothetical questions that extrapolate a trend and you’re your
opponent a difficulty, ‘What would happen if every nation did that?’ Another useful type of question is one that calmly provokes your foe, ‘What is about this that makes you so angry?’
Use logic. Show how one idea follows another. Build your case and use logic to undermine your opponent.
Appeal to higher values. As well as logic you can use a little emotion by appealing to worthy motives that are hard to disagree with, ‘Shouldn’t we all be working to make the world better and safer for our children?’
Listen carefully. Many people are so focused on what they are going to say that they ignore their opponent and assume his arguments. It is better to listen carefully. You will observe weaknesses and flaws in his position and sometimes you will hear something new and informative!
Be prepared to concede a good point. Don’t argue every point for the sake of it. If your adversary makes a valid point then agree but outweigh it with a different argument. This makes you looked reasonable. ‘I agree with you that prison does not reform prisoners. That is generally true but prison still acts effectively as a deterrent and a punishment.’
Study your opponent. Know their strengths, weaknesses, beliefs and values. You can appeal to their higher values. You can exploit their weaknesses by turning their arguments back on them.
Look for a win-win. Be open-minded to a compromise position that accommodates your main points and some of your opponent’s. You cannot both win in a boxing match but you can both win in a negotiation.
Don’t:
Get personal. Direct attacks on your opponent’s lifestyle, integrity or honesty should be avoided. Attack the issue not the person. If the other party attacks you then you can take the high ground e.g.’ I am surprised at you making personal attacks like that. I think it would be better if we stuck to the main issue here rather than maligning people.’
Get distracted. Your opponent may try to throw you off the scent by introducing new and extraneous themes. You must be firm. ‘That is an entirely different issue which I am happy to discuss later. For the moment let’s deal with the major issue at hand.’
Water down your strong arguments with weak ones. If you have three strong points and two weaker ones then it is probably best to just focus on the strong. Make your points convincingly and ask for agreement. If you carry on and use the weaker arguments then your opponent can rebut them and make your overall case look weaker.
By—Dr. Prafulla Ranjan
From India, Delhi
All of us at one time or the other indulge in arguments with someone. It can be your boss, colleagues or subordinate at work. It can be your spouse, son, daughter, parents, relatives or friends.
It is a tricky art to win over in an argument.
Let us first define Argument: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition. ...an argument is an intellectual process... contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
An argument is a deliberate attempt to move beyond just making an assertion. When offering an argument, you are offering a series of related statements which represent an attempt to support that assertion — to give others good reasons to believe that what you are asserting is true rather than false.
The purpose of an argument: to offer reasons and evidence for the purpose of establishing the truth value of a proposition, which can mean either establishing that the proposition is true or establishing that the proposition is false. If a series of statements does not do this, it isn’t an argument.
Most people think that winning an argument depends on one's communication skills. However, communication skills also need a smart and mean brain.
Here are some suggestions for winning an argument:
1. Blame the opponent for the argument: It is really important to maintain throughout the argument that your opponent started the argument at the first place. Always remember that you are a victim of your opponent's whim and someone as innocent as you can not possibly instigate a conflict situation.
2. Use a third person: Whenever you feel your opponent has made a bloody good point; just take shelter of a third person. Pretend that your opponent is not around, then turn to this third person, use the killer words "Can you imagine he said blah blah blah.... !! How ignorant can someone get." and then one smirk and a small pat to your forehead. Congratulations! You have won the round.
3. Make sure to advertise your small wins: Whenever you feel you have made a bloody good point, do not wait for his/her expressions or reactions. Take advantage of it. Again a smirk, a small shake of head from right to left and then a 20 seconds half smile with the look that says "Oh!! You poor darling."
4. Cook up the facts that nobody can verify: If you are doing a factual argument, feel free to create your own facts. After all, everybody has a right to create information. Just make sure that these facts are not easily verifiable. Use words like, "I read in a survey that ..... " or “There was this interesting episode on Discovery channel which told me that some Zebras can fly." Now let it be your opponent's headache to follow up with the Discovery channel office.
5. Make your opponent eat his/her own words: When your opponent presents an argument, try to make it round and personal. Trap him in such a way that he has to think twice before reacting and use this interruption to build on your own theory. You can trap him by proving that what he is saying is not practical and is totally inconsistent with his acts or beliefs. Force it down his throat that the point he just made was only to win the argument and that he does not really believe in that. A classic example is the suicide example. If someone is defending suicide, ask him why does not he hang himself at the first place? He will surely stammer before responding. Use this time to dominate him
Let us discuss do and don’ts in an argument.
Do:
Stay calm. Even if you get passionate about your point you must stay cool and in command of your emotions. If you lose your temper – you lose.
Use facts as evidence for your position. Facts are hard to refute so gather some pertinent data before the argument starts. Surveys, statistics, quotes from relevant people and results are useful arguments to deploy in support of your case.
Ask questions. If you can ask the right questions you can stay in control of the discussion and make your opponent scramble for answers. You can ask questions that challenge his point, ‘What evidence do you have for that claim?’ You can ask hypothetical questions that extrapolate a trend and you’re your
opponent a difficulty, ‘What would happen if every nation did that?’ Another useful type of question is one that calmly provokes your foe, ‘What is about this that makes you so angry?’
Use logic. Show how one idea follows another. Build your case and use logic to undermine your opponent.
Appeal to higher values. As well as logic you can use a little emotion by appealing to worthy motives that are hard to disagree with, ‘Shouldn’t we all be working to make the world better and safer for our children?’
Listen carefully. Many people are so focused on what they are going to say that they ignore their opponent and assume his arguments. It is better to listen carefully. You will observe weaknesses and flaws in his position and sometimes you will hear something new and informative!
Be prepared to concede a good point. Don’t argue every point for the sake of it. If your adversary makes a valid point then agree but outweigh it with a different argument. This makes you looked reasonable. ‘I agree with you that prison does not reform prisoners. That is generally true but prison still acts effectively as a deterrent and a punishment.’
Study your opponent. Know their strengths, weaknesses, beliefs and values. You can appeal to their higher values. You can exploit their weaknesses by turning their arguments back on them.
Look for a win-win. Be open-minded to a compromise position that accommodates your main points and some of your opponent’s. You cannot both win in a boxing match but you can both win in a negotiation.
Don’t:
Get personal. Direct attacks on your opponent’s lifestyle, integrity or honesty should be avoided. Attack the issue not the person. If the other party attacks you then you can take the high ground e.g.’ I am surprised at you making personal attacks like that. I think it would be better if we stuck to the main issue here rather than maligning people.’
Get distracted. Your opponent may try to throw you off the scent by introducing new and extraneous themes. You must be firm. ‘That is an entirely different issue which I am happy to discuss later. For the moment let’s deal with the major issue at hand.’
Water down your strong arguments with weak ones. If you have three strong points and two weaker ones then it is probably best to just focus on the strong. Make your points convincingly and ask for agreement. If you carry on and use the weaker arguments then your opponent can rebut them and make your overall case look weaker.
By—Dr. Prafulla Ranjan
From India, Delhi
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