Hi all,
People, please leave this discussion. It's nowhere legal to interfere in someone's personal life as long as it's not affecting work or the workplace. The problem with the people in the organization is that they make a fuss about such things, and especially men enjoy talking about women if they are mingling or friendly with someone.
From India, Bangalore
2People, please leave this discussion. It's nowhere legal to interfere in someone's personal life as long as it's not affecting work or the workplace. The problem with the people in the organization is that they make a fuss about such things, and especially men enjoy talking about women if they are mingling or friendly with someone.
From India, Bangalore
Hi,
I too believe that you should not take any legal action for her. Firstly, you should confirm whether all such things are correct or not. After that, you should personally speak to her about this and warn her for the future. Unless it is affecting the office atmosphere, we are not supposed to interfere in anybody's personal life as there might be some personal reasons for such things. So, you should only warn her not to create any misbehavior in the organization and personally suggest to her that such actions can spoil her life as well as her husband's and kids' too.
Thanks,
Meenakshi
From India, Delhi
I too believe that you should not take any legal action for her. Firstly, you should confirm whether all such things are correct or not. After that, you should personally speak to her about this and warn her for the future. Unless it is affecting the office atmosphere, we are not supposed to interfere in anybody's personal life as there might be some personal reasons for such things. So, you should only warn her not to create any misbehavior in the organization and personally suggest to her that such actions can spoil her life as well as her husband's and kids' too.
Thanks,
Meenakshi
From India, Delhi
Hi,
I too believe that you should not take any legal action for her. Firstly, you should confirm whether all such things are correct or not. After that, you should personally speak to her about this and warn her for the future. Unless it is affecting the office atmosphere, we are not supposed to interfere in anybody's personal life as there might be some personal reasons for such things. So, you should only warn her not to create any misbehavior in the organization and personally suggest to her that such actions can spoil her life as well as her husband's and kids' too.
Thanks,
Meenakshi
From India, Delhi
I too believe that you should not take any legal action for her. Firstly, you should confirm whether all such things are correct or not. After that, you should personally speak to her about this and warn her for the future. Unless it is affecting the office atmosphere, we are not supposed to interfere in anybody's personal life as there might be some personal reasons for such things. So, you should only warn her not to create any misbehavior in the organization and personally suggest to her that such actions can spoil her life as well as her husband's and kids' too.
Thanks,
Meenakshi
From India, Delhi
Have others observed and noticed what you have? If yes, has anyone conveyed their displeasure? Do you think it is disturbing or hindering your normal work? Do you think that there could be some adverse fallout? If no, then keep cool and be happy in their happiness.
From India, Pune
From India, Pune
Hi Sari,
You need to look at this kind of problem with both performance and behavior aspects:
1) Performance of the person: Since you already said that people are satisfied with her performance as an employee and she is also very cooperative, then you cannot nail her on the performance issue.
2) Behavior: Every person has the right to live her life as she wants; however, if she is married and having an affair, this, as per our judicial system, is illegal and is called Bigamy. Now, I would not suggest writing any letter to her family or to any third person since you do not want to be a moral police for society. What you should focus on is cleaning the environment of your organization. Now, if you ever get any report that they are behaving indecently in the office premises (please remember that the office premises does not mean only the building but also the parking space and the cabs if provided by the office), found in compromising situations, or using foul or unacceptable language or gestures, then that is the time to give her the feedback, and the following steps can be taken. They can go in the order specified below, or you can also jump to the particular step based on the severity of the situation.
- Verbal feedback
- Warning letter
- Termination
However, please remember that while using the first two options, you would need to have a discussion with her. In that discussion, you need to communicate in very strong words that "I know that you and the <other person> share a very strong relationship. This is your personal matter, and I would not like to intervene in between; however, I need to make sure that the office ethics should never be forgotten. So, I would like you to ensure that whatever you have in between should not be visible in the office or office premises. You do whatever you want outside, but in this office, you should behave like normal colleagues. Also, ensure that this message is communicated to your partner too. If you are found guilty of anything like this, then we will have to take stern action."
Please remember we will not involve any third party in this case.
Regards,
Kanwaljit Singh
Hi all,
Hope all my CiteHR friends are doing fine.
Here I am with another issue to discuss; this is with my new organization.
There is one employee who is married, has kids too but is involved in an affair with a guy in the same department. Management has no issues pertaining to her performance, and in fact, she even works on holidays if required.
Management has no issues with her personal life, but now that the team mates have a very unpleasant opinion, and have to say the environment is getting polluted.
Do you think management has to take any decision on her?
Can you please suggest?
Sari
From India, Delhi
You need to look at this kind of problem with both performance and behavior aspects:
1) Performance of the person: Since you already said that people are satisfied with her performance as an employee and she is also very cooperative, then you cannot nail her on the performance issue.
2) Behavior: Every person has the right to live her life as she wants; however, if she is married and having an affair, this, as per our judicial system, is illegal and is called Bigamy. Now, I would not suggest writing any letter to her family or to any third person since you do not want to be a moral police for society. What you should focus on is cleaning the environment of your organization. Now, if you ever get any report that they are behaving indecently in the office premises (please remember that the office premises does not mean only the building but also the parking space and the cabs if provided by the office), found in compromising situations, or using foul or unacceptable language or gestures, then that is the time to give her the feedback, and the following steps can be taken. They can go in the order specified below, or you can also jump to the particular step based on the severity of the situation.
- Verbal feedback
- Warning letter
- Termination
However, please remember that while using the first two options, you would need to have a discussion with her. In that discussion, you need to communicate in very strong words that "I know that you and the <other person> share a very strong relationship. This is your personal matter, and I would not like to intervene in between; however, I need to make sure that the office ethics should never be forgotten. So, I would like you to ensure that whatever you have in between should not be visible in the office or office premises. You do whatever you want outside, but in this office, you should behave like normal colleagues. Also, ensure that this message is communicated to your partner too. If you are found guilty of anything like this, then we will have to take stern action."
Please remember we will not involve any third party in this case.
Regards,
Kanwaljit Singh
Hi all,
Hope all my CiteHR friends are doing fine.
Here I am with another issue to discuss; this is with my new organization.
There is one employee who is married, has kids too but is involved in an affair with a guy in the same department. Management has no issues pertaining to her performance, and in fact, she even works on holidays if required.
Management has no issues with her personal life, but now that the team mates have a very unpleasant opinion, and have to say the environment is getting polluted.
Do you think management has to take any decision on her?
Can you please suggest?
Sari
From India, Delhi
I agree that legally you cannot take any action on an employee based on the grapevine or gossip. It's better to watch what is happening. A similar case happened in my organization as well. There was a very tall, handsome person who was a top performer but got involved with some bad actors and started having extramarital affairs. He would spend a lot of time on the company phone with the other person. Despite being in the R&D department, he would resolve issues superbly and quickly compared to others. He is married with two kids. His wife would often call the company looking for him as he would be at the other woman's house. There were many rumors circulating in the office, with many stating that it was inappropriate and that management needed to take action. However, the management not only did not take action but also gave him a promotion and a salary hike.
Bye. Mushtaq
From India, Hyderabad
Bye. Mushtaq
From India, Hyderabad
Dear Mr. Mangesh,
That's the way a well-mannered HR professional talks – with such a kind heart. Without knowing a person, we are never supposed to interfere in their personal matters.
Regards,
Deepak
Executive (C.S)
From India
That's the way a well-mannered HR professional talks – with such a kind heart. Without knowing a person, we are never supposed to interfere in their personal matters.
Regards,
Deepak
Executive (C.S)
From India
Hi Sari,
I understand it's a tough situation to handle, but my question is: do you have any evidence that she is having an affair with a colleague and they are misbehaving in the office?
If it's outside of the office, my suggestion would be to counsel her. As you said, she is a good performer; do not afford to lose her. Instead, make her aware of what is happening around her and inform her about the consequences she might face.
Do not jump to conclusions without proper evidence.
Sashikanth
From India, Hyderabad
I understand it's a tough situation to handle, but my question is: do you have any evidence that she is having an affair with a colleague and they are misbehaving in the office?
If it's outside of the office, my suggestion would be to counsel her. As you said, she is a good performer; do not afford to lose her. Instead, make her aware of what is happening around her and inform her about the consequences she might face.
Do not jump to conclusions without proper evidence.
Sashikanth
From India, Hyderabad
Human behavior is too complex to understand. Are we doing the moral police job? As long as the concerned persons do not misbehave or commit misconduct at the workplace, the management has no right to interfere.
And one question for you all: WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU HAD BEEN IN SUCH A SITUATION? DON'T REPLY. JUST THINK AND UNDERSTAND.
From India
And one question for you all: WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU HAD BEEN IN SUCH A SITUATION? DON'T REPLY. JUST THINK AND UNDERSTAND.
From India
My gosh, I found this once and left a small comment. Now I am getting updates on a daily basis - ENOUGH! LEAVE THOSE WHO WANT TO LIVE THEIR OWN LIVES ALONE! We are not here to dictate to others what to do - we all live and learn by our own mistakes.
For those who are online and reading and leaving comments on this post regularly - you know who you are - get back to your desks and work. Neither you nor your company is profiting by meddling in other people's affairs.
Life is beautiful, and for those who find happiness as it should be, GOOD FOR YOU. We cannot give or receive love because we are love. Happiness and wellbeing are what we all strive for.
From Spain, Palma
For those who are online and reading and leaving comments on this post regularly - you know who you are - get back to your desks and work. Neither you nor your company is profiting by meddling in other people's affairs.
Life is beautiful, and for those who find happiness as it should be, GOOD FOR YOU. We cannot give or receive love because we are love. Happiness and wellbeing are what we all strive for.
From Spain, Palma
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