I have been in the company for a number of years already. Unfortunately, I am currently in the middle of office politics and intrigue as I am being identified with one of the company officers, having known and worked with that person for a long time. I am deeply disappointed with how my "friends" are backstabbing me now. To make matters worse, they are taking it to a more personal level, and my professional relationships are already being affected by the talks behind my back.
I need your honest opinion on the matter. I am happy with what I am doing and I'm loyal to the company I'm serving, but I am seriously thinking of leaving because I feel like I can't handle the personal stress anymore. I'm in need of fresh insights because I seem to be losing my optimism at this point. :(
From Philippines, Manila
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I need your honest opinion on the matter. I am happy with what I am doing and I'm loyal to the company I'm serving, but I am seriously thinking of leaving because I feel like I can't handle the personal stress anymore. I'm in need of fresh insights because I seem to be losing my optimism at this point. :(
From Philippines, Manila
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Dear Pinoy,
Iron cuts iron. You need to understand that if you leave the job, those people who are backstabbing you will win. Go on a low profile for some time. Let the whole thing die by not reacting to any provocations. If you react, then you are the loser. Always remember these words:
LEARN >>> PROCESS & EVOLVE
This is the best mantra to survive corporate politics.
Regards,
Scarecrow
From India, Mumbai
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2Iron cuts iron. You need to understand that if you leave the job, those people who are backstabbing you will win. Go on a low profile for some time. Let the whole thing die by not reacting to any provocations. If you react, then you are the loser. Always remember these words:
LEARN >>> PROCESS & EVOLVE
This is the best mantra to survive corporate politics.
Regards,
Scarecrow
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Pinoy,
How are you? I can very well understand what you have been going through right now as I have also gone through the same situation in the past wherein my juniors had backstabbed me and made my life miserable in the organization.
I had thought of reacting and giving back to them, but trust me, I just kept quiet as I knew that my silence would kill them. That's what happened in the end, and they all came to apologize to me for what they had been doing.
I would suggest keeping a low profile for some time. Try to keep your mind out of such activities and identify who your actual friends are and who can help you come out of this situation. In the circumstances you are in, you cannot trust anyone, as you might be taken for granted for anything you say.
I would also suggest giving a stern look whenever you think someone is playing dirty. The look will warn the other person and keep a couple of things under control.
Hope this helps you to have a work approach. Please don't quit your job just because of this reason. Office politics exist everywhere, and you can't keep running away from it. It's fun to face the challenges than to hide away.
All the best, and do let me know if you have any specific incidents for which you need guidance.
Thanks,
Regards,
Nimit Panpalia
From India, Mumbai
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How are you? I can very well understand what you have been going through right now as I have also gone through the same situation in the past wherein my juniors had backstabbed me and made my life miserable in the organization.
I had thought of reacting and giving back to them, but trust me, I just kept quiet as I knew that my silence would kill them. That's what happened in the end, and they all came to apologize to me for what they had been doing.
I would suggest keeping a low profile for some time. Try to keep your mind out of such activities and identify who your actual friends are and who can help you come out of this situation. In the circumstances you are in, you cannot trust anyone, as you might be taken for granted for anything you say.
I would also suggest giving a stern look whenever you think someone is playing dirty. The look will warn the other person and keep a couple of things under control.
Hope this helps you to have a work approach. Please don't quit your job just because of this reason. Office politics exist everywhere, and you can't keep running away from it. It's fun to face the challenges than to hide away.
All the best, and do let me know if you have any specific incidents for which you need guidance.
Thanks,
Regards,
Nimit Panpalia
From India, Mumbai
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Thank you very much for the advice. I have been trying to lie low the past few days and have kept under the radar for quite some time. Fortunately for me, I have been invited to join another organization that offers something that I have been waiting for in my career - an opportunity to travel internationally. Needless to say, it was not a very difficult decision since it came at a very opportune time for me.
I will, however, feel sad about leaving my superiors. They have been good role models to me and were more than supportive when they found out about my offer. They were honest to admit that they are not able to give what the other organization has to offer and that it would be advantageous for me at this point in my career to experience a different kind of challenge.
Again, thank you, and I look forward to continuing exchanging words of wisdom with you.
Sincerely, Pinoy :)
From Philippines, Manila
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I will, however, feel sad about leaving my superiors. They have been good role models to me and were more than supportive when they found out about my offer. They were honest to admit that they are not able to give what the other organization has to offer and that it would be advantageous for me at this point in my career to experience a different kind of challenge.
Again, thank you, and I look forward to continuing exchanging words of wisdom with you.
Sincerely, Pinoy :)
From Philippines, Manila
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Namaskar,
You are not the only victim. There are many innocent persons who lose materially and even go to jail for no fault of theirs. So you will have to analyze your situation very carefully. Here are certain tips:
1. Prospect in modern life is believed to be the gift of CCD (creativity, crookedness, and dhithissm). Observe who is having these traits to what extent.
2. The personality types:
a. Joota chatoo.
b. Kudkudau.
c. Kamar kasu.
d. Rambharasu.
e. Bahkau.
f. Bhadkau.
g. Bidkau.
Maintain an appropriate distance depending upon their type.
3. Look into your demand characteristics. Our being and becoming are responsible for eliciting specific reactions in others. Those may be for or against. So please check up what are your demand characteristics which elicited such reactions in others and replace those demand characteristics at the earliest.
Regards
From India, Delhi
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You are not the only victim. There are many innocent persons who lose materially and even go to jail for no fault of theirs. So you will have to analyze your situation very carefully. Here are certain tips:
1. Prospect in modern life is believed to be the gift of CCD (creativity, crookedness, and dhithissm). Observe who is having these traits to what extent.
2. The personality types:
a. Joota chatoo.
b. Kudkudau.
c. Kamar kasu.
d. Rambharasu.
e. Bahkau.
f. Bhadkau.
g. Bidkau.
Maintain an appropriate distance depending upon their type.
3. Look into your demand characteristics. Our being and becoming are responsible for eliciting specific reactions in others. Those may be for or against. So please check up what are your demand characteristics which elicited such reactions in others and replace those demand characteristics at the earliest.
Regards
From India, Delhi
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Dear Atomleaf,
Namaskar Jogeshwarji,
It would be better if you could explain those personality types in an understandable format.
Thanks & Regards 😊😊😊
Dear Pinoy,
Namaskar.
Thanks for your interest. The name of your personal project may be:
ELICITING FAVORABLE REACTIONS AROUND ME IN PLACE OF UNFAVORABLE REACTIONS.
The explanation of the personality types is as follows:
1. "Joota chatoo" means a bootlicker. He/she can do and undo anything for someone in power for gain. He/she has no other value except the acquisition of gain.
2. "Kudkudau" means a grumbler. He/she just goes on grumbling. It is not possible on his/her part to alter the situation.
3. "Kamar kasu" means a waist tightener. He/she revolts against the status quo and thinks that he/she can establish justice and order of his/her liking.
4. "Ram bharasu" means one who accepts the situation as given by Ram and enjoys it as it is.
5. "Bahkau" means one who is able to set a person in motion against oneself or others very cunningly like Shakuni.
6. "Bhadkau" means one who is capable of disintegrating an integrated group.
7. "Bidkau" means one who is capable of shattering an integrated group into pieces, rendering it to nothingness.
Am I correct? Please feel free to ask anything as you like.
Regards
From India, Delhi
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Namaskar Jogeshwarji,
It would be better if you could explain those personality types in an understandable format.
Thanks & Regards 😊😊😊
Dear Pinoy,
Namaskar.
Thanks for your interest. The name of your personal project may be:
ELICITING FAVORABLE REACTIONS AROUND ME IN PLACE OF UNFAVORABLE REACTIONS.
The explanation of the personality types is as follows:
1. "Joota chatoo" means a bootlicker. He/she can do and undo anything for someone in power for gain. He/she has no other value except the acquisition of gain.
2. "Kudkudau" means a grumbler. He/she just goes on grumbling. It is not possible on his/her part to alter the situation.
3. "Kamar kasu" means a waist tightener. He/she revolts against the status quo and thinks that he/she can establish justice and order of his/her liking.
4. "Ram bharasu" means one who accepts the situation as given by Ram and enjoys it as it is.
5. "Bahkau" means one who is able to set a person in motion against oneself or others very cunningly like Shakuni.
6. "Bhadkau" means one who is capable of disintegrating an integrated group.
7. "Bidkau" means one who is capable of shattering an integrated group into pieces, rendering it to nothingness.
Am I correct? Please feel free to ask anything as you like.
Regards
From India, Delhi
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Dear Dr. Jogeshwar,
Beautiful explanation of the personalities. Pinoy HR is not the only person in such a soup. I am going through a similar situation where many of my so-called "friends" have already stabbed me from behind. The closest one to whom I am reporting has now started looking at me as a competitor. I am trying to navigate the situation while keeping a cool head and avoiding all political issues. I have no idea how long it will take to clear things up!
From India, Madras
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Beautiful explanation of the personalities. Pinoy HR is not the only person in such a soup. I am going through a similar situation where many of my so-called "friends" have already stabbed me from behind. The closest one to whom I am reporting has now started looking at me as a competitor. I am trying to navigate the situation while keeping a cool head and avoiding all political issues. I have no idea how long it will take to clear things up!
From India, Madras
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Dear Dr. Jogeshwar,
Beautiful explanation of the personalities. Pinoy HR is not the only person in such a soup. I am going through a similar situation where many of my so-called "friends" have already stabbed me from behind. The closest one to whom I am reporting has now started looking at me as a competitor. I am trying to navigate the situation calmly and avoid getting involved in any political issues. No idea how long it will take to clear things up!
"No idea how long it will take to clear things up!" Rarely or hardly does the situation alter automatically. I have already mentioned that Pinoy is not the only victim. Let us now clean the workplaces. So take up the project of ELICITING FAVOURABLE REACTIONS AROUND ME IN PLACE OF UNFAVOURABLE REACTIONS as well.
Regards
From India, Delhi
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Beautiful explanation of the personalities. Pinoy HR is not the only person in such a soup. I am going through a similar situation where many of my so-called "friends" have already stabbed me from behind. The closest one to whom I am reporting has now started looking at me as a competitor. I am trying to navigate the situation calmly and avoid getting involved in any political issues. No idea how long it will take to clear things up!
"No idea how long it will take to clear things up!" Rarely or hardly does the situation alter automatically. I have already mentioned that Pinoy is not the only victim. Let us now clean the workplaces. So take up the project of ELICITING FAVOURABLE REACTIONS AROUND ME IN PLACE OF UNFAVOURABLE REACTIONS as well.
Regards
From India, Delhi
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Dear Dr. Jogeshwar,
Yes, I agree that situations rarely alter by themselves. I also agree with your suggestion of eliciting favorable reactions around me instead of unfavorable reactions for the project. Please provide me with more insights on how to proceed with this.
Thank you.
From India, Madras
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Yes, I agree that situations rarely alter by themselves. I also agree with your suggestion of eliciting favorable reactions around me instead of unfavorable reactions for the project. Please provide me with more insights on how to proceed with this.
Thank you.
From India, Madras
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Assess your need affiliation: The first step.
Let me tell you a story first. Once upon a time there lived a Sethji. One day Tota(messenger of God) came to him and said-look, every possession of yours will have to go. But you can have a choice to keep only one thing as you please. Take three days time to decide. I shall be back after 3 days.
There was a lot of consultations in the family. But it was difficult to decide what to retain. Ultimately Sethji said- all of us have talked. Now let us take the view of Chhoti bahu. Chhoti bahu said- Ask him to leave with us only saluk(good relation). The proposal appealed to all family members.
Three days after Tota came and enquired what to leave. Sethji said- saluk. Tota said- Then you have kept every thing. What am I to take then? And he left empty handed.
Depending upon one’s level of need for affiliation, relationships grow around. The following spectrum will give you an idea about your level of need affiliation.
Levels of affiliation With NADOs With formals With others With friends
Heart to heart ? ? ? ?
Intimate ? ? ? ?
Very good ? ? ? ?
Good ? ? ? ?
Hello hello ? ? ? ?
Bad ? ? ? ?
Very bad ? ? ? ?
Rivals to death ? ? ? ?
· NADO means near and dear ones.
Replace the ? marks with real frequencies. The more the frequencies above hello hello level, the higher is your need for affiliation.
Next, we shall go to second step.
Regards.
From India, Delhi
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Let me tell you a story first. Once upon a time there lived a Sethji. One day Tota(messenger of God) came to him and said-look, every possession of yours will have to go. But you can have a choice to keep only one thing as you please. Take three days time to decide. I shall be back after 3 days.
There was a lot of consultations in the family. But it was difficult to decide what to retain. Ultimately Sethji said- all of us have talked. Now let us take the view of Chhoti bahu. Chhoti bahu said- Ask him to leave with us only saluk(good relation). The proposal appealed to all family members.
Three days after Tota came and enquired what to leave. Sethji said- saluk. Tota said- Then you have kept every thing. What am I to take then? And he left empty handed.
Depending upon one’s level of need for affiliation, relationships grow around. The following spectrum will give you an idea about your level of need affiliation.
Levels of affiliation With NADOs With formals With others With friends
Heart to heart ? ? ? ?
Intimate ? ? ? ?
Very good ? ? ? ?
Good ? ? ? ?
Hello hello ? ? ? ?
Bad ? ? ? ?
Very bad ? ? ? ?
Rivals to death ? ? ? ?
· NADO means near and dear ones.
Replace the ? marks with real frequencies. The more the frequencies above hello hello level, the higher is your need for affiliation.
Next, we shall go to second step.
Regards.
From India, Delhi
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Hi Pinoy,
I read your mail, and I have gone through that phase which you mentioned about 5 years ago. But looking back, I feel that I made a mistake of reacting to the situation. Hence, my first advice to you will be: DON'T REACT. Do not drown yourself in self-pity, which is the worst thing you could do to yourself.
You, as an individual, are destined for far better things in life than to be bothered by these petty individuals (so-called friends). As of now, do not dwell on these things. It will only spoil your mental and physical health. Secondly, when you don't react and just do your work and go home, the very people who were targeting you will start wondering, "What's wrong with this guy?" He doesn't react at all. These are petty individuals who don't have any work, and as is very rightly said, an idle mind is a devil's workshop. By the time these people realize this, they would have ended up digging their own grave.
First of all, analyze the situation. If you feel that you have reached the saturation point in this organization, then it is time for you to move on, my friend. Update your resume first. Do not make a hasty decision. Find out how much your talents in this field are worth outside.
Be assertive and believe in yourself. Things will come to you automatically. You will have the last laugh on these people!
All the very best to you. Once again, do not get bogged down by these trivial matters. They will be present in any organization you go to, but the levels are different!
Best Regards,
Sadashiv Rao :)
From Kuwait, Kuwait
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I read your mail, and I have gone through that phase which you mentioned about 5 years ago. But looking back, I feel that I made a mistake of reacting to the situation. Hence, my first advice to you will be: DON'T REACT. Do not drown yourself in self-pity, which is the worst thing you could do to yourself.
You, as an individual, are destined for far better things in life than to be bothered by these petty individuals (so-called friends). As of now, do not dwell on these things. It will only spoil your mental and physical health. Secondly, when you don't react and just do your work and go home, the very people who were targeting you will start wondering, "What's wrong with this guy?" He doesn't react at all. These are petty individuals who don't have any work, and as is very rightly said, an idle mind is a devil's workshop. By the time these people realize this, they would have ended up digging their own grave.
First of all, analyze the situation. If you feel that you have reached the saturation point in this organization, then it is time for you to move on, my friend. Update your resume first. Do not make a hasty decision. Find out how much your talents in this field are worth outside.
Be assertive and believe in yourself. Things will come to you automatically. You will have the last laugh on these people!
All the very best to you. Once again, do not get bogged down by these trivial matters. They will be present in any organization you go to, but the levels are different!
Best Regards,
Sadashiv Rao :)
From Kuwait, Kuwait
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Hello, Dr. Mahanta,
I am also a victim of office politics. As I have dual reporting, my functional reporting head views me as his competitor. My administrative reporting head is a process-oriented person, and my functional head is against my administrative head. He always creates problems for me because I am more in favor of my administrative head. I am frustrated here in this company and do not know how to overcome this problem. Since my functional head lacks knowledge in HR, and I have more knowledge than him, please suggest some steps to tackle him.
Katyana
From India, Gurgaon
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I am also a victim of office politics. As I have dual reporting, my functional reporting head views me as his competitor. My administrative reporting head is a process-oriented person, and my functional head is against my administrative head. He always creates problems for me because I am more in favor of my administrative head. I am frustrated here in this company and do not know how to overcome this problem. Since my functional head lacks knowledge in HR, and I have more knowledge than him, please suggest some steps to tackle him.
Katyana
From India, Gurgaon
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When the whole bundle of threads are messed up, you just can not take out one thread. You will have to treat the whole. regards
From India, Delhi
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From India, Delhi
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It is treating the whole organization. I do run a course on "Stress, healthy coping, and constructive empowerment" of 5+5=10 days duration. This is based on scientific knowledge hitherto. Both theoretical inputs as well as mental exercises are imparted. Conventional Yoga and meditation are not included as there are plenty of people all around to these subjects. My next program starts from 21st February.
Regards
From India, Delhi
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Regards
From India, Delhi
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